I just have to share this story, which happened to my friend Barbara Jane. She is single and in her twenties like me and her boss thought that her neighbour’s single son would make a great blind date for her. After all he was in University studying to be a dentist and was apparently just living in his mother’s basement still so he could save on intuition.
So on the urging of her boss, who meant so well, she meets this guy for an hour and a half lunch date. When she laid eyes on him she couldn’t believe her good fortune. He was good looking, witty, well dressed and seemed to have a great sense of humor. She immediately said yes when he offered to take her out on a date the next day that just happened to be Valentine’s Day.
The next day he shows up at her door and rings the bell. He is dressed up in a designer to die for suit and looks just like one of those handsome men in Details magazine. Furthermore he is holding out a dozen red roses, which are meant just for her.
My girlfriend Barbara Jane takes the flowers and just as she says she must put them in water he tells her to wait as there are even more presents for her. He then bends over and starts placing two more prettily wrapped boxes inside her front hall.
As there are so many presents she invites him, all the time saying “Oh you shouldn’t have!” and really meaning it to because it was a bit of Valentine’s Day overkill.
The first thing she does is uncork the bottle of champagne he has brought and pour them both a glass. She then opens the first present, which contains a nice pair of pink satin gloves that he says he found in a vintage store. She is really pleased about this as she did tell him that she loved these old style kid gloves the day before at lunch.
The second present was also pretty good. It was an entire bottle of Guerlain perfume. The good stuff and not just the eau de toilette and it was packaged in a limited edition bottle.
As she went to open the third present, which was a beautiful red foil heart shaped box he said, “I hope you are not one of those women who doesn’t like to eat things.”
Inside this box is “premium exotic chocolate.” When she opens the lid to the box of chocolates she was amazed to see that the box was filled with six quite big cream filled replicas of chocolate penises.
“Have one!” he says.
She didn’t know what do say and just stared in disbelief. She said she wasn’t hungry and went through with the rest of the date but needless to say after it was over had to tell her boss that this one wasn’t quite going to work out (without going into too much detail!)