Whenever something bad happens to you; whether it is work related or relationship related do you spend the next few hours weeks or months beating yourself up about it? This is one way to make rejection form men way too important.
If a reject is work, social or relationship related; do you spend the next few hours, days, weeks, months (or a lifetime) beating yourself up about it? I have good news! You can stop being this way right now.
How?
Simple. Choose not to react in your old habitual ways. Stop your automatic tendency to make it all about you. It is not about you.
No one is holding a gun to your head. You can make the choice to NOT let bad things affect you and essentially give up this self-defeating behavior.
I know this will come as a complete surprise to some of you. I know it did for me. Look at your negative responses and how you continue to dwell on them and I think you’ll be shocked to learn that this serves no real purpose. Once you realize
this, then you can begin to reverse the process.
A guy friend recently told me a story that illustrates this point perfectly:
He walked up to a girl in a group and said,
“I saw you staring at me (she actually wasn’t) so
I thought I’d come over and introduce myself.”
She blew him off immediately. So, without missing
a beat, he turned to one of her friends and said,
“How are YOU doin?”
She says,
“Great”.
They talk for a minute, he takes her over to a couch and they start making out. A few minutes later, the girl who blew him off comes over, sits down and wants to have a group kiss…then they ask him to leave with them.
This is because women always want what other women want. I can tell you this is true because I have gone out with some real jerks and nobody has ever even looked twice at them until they have appeared on my arm. This is true of guys who are not good looking, guys with a lousy job and guys who stammer and stutter.
When you suffer from events that are beyond your control, it makes your suffering much worse if you regard yourself as a victim. Since most of your emotional experiences are the direct result of how you interpret and personalize the events in your own lives, the important factor is the skill with
Which you handle your own response. It’s your own choice how you respond.
The key is to revise your attitude to blame things more on the situation rather than take the entire rap yourself. Give yourself a break. You can’t help it if one guy is an arrogant jerk, the next one a sex addict and the one after that a non-committing type. Don’t make a drama out of each and every dating disaster and you will be much better off.
Try it and let me know what happens!