He Needed To Tell Me He Was Living With Someone

June 27, 2007

Why do men ALWAYS lie. I am starting to think that if their lips are moving that they are lying.

A few nights ago I met a guy through my friend Donna. I love Donna. She is generous, kind and sweet and one of those people who is always building bridges of light to others. So, she has a male friend named Dima who she hasn’t seen in a while and it turns out he has a friend named John. We all meet at this party and I hit it off with this John guy right away.

Why did I like him so much. Well first off he was well off. He was a sound engineer who was studying to be a lawyer. I thought that was great and that he would be the perfect mix of culture and smarts for me. He really seemed like my type.

Another thing I liked about it is that he was really positive and affirmative and he was always including me in his future even though I just met him. He kept making plans about what we would do in the future and told me how much he was looking forward to seeing me again.

Donna, who is a bit savvy then asks this guy John what his status is. He says that he is in the middle of a divorce which is fine as we both assume that this means that he no longer lives with girl.

WRONG!

I go out on two more dates with this loser and get really, very close – tongue in the mouth and the whole thing before Boy Genius finally decides to reveal that he is still living with his ex.

How do I find this out?

Well first of all he phones me and I use my call return to leave a number on his message machine. Then the next thing that happens is that I get a call back from him sounding all disconcerted. He tells me that it is probably not a good idea for me to leave messages there as his ex, who still lives with him, picked up the message. This enraged her so much that she apparently started kicking, punching and slapping him.

Hmmm.

First of all what kind of guy stays in a house with his ex and lets her hit him in the first place. There was no way I was going to have any part of this. The thing that makes me angry is that he never told me he was not free. Can you imagine if I decided to pop in for a surprise visit one day.

To top it all off after I send him an email telling him I am not interested anymore he phones me and starts crying. What kind of baby starts crying after only knowing a woman for a few days? Then I realized that he was not crying because he “lost me” but rather that he was trying to manipulate me into staying in the relationship anyway!

Just another one to put on the list of Big Babies I have gone out with lately.

 

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Paris Should Go Back To Jail

June 24, 2007

I just read that Paris Hilton is getting out of jail in two days and I am really angry. She has only served 18 days for what is basically pre-meditated and deliberate attempted murder. Being drunk is no excuse for not knowing that you are getting behind the wheel. YOU KNOW when you are drunk that you are not supposed to drive. You don’t forget just because you are drunk. You know and are aware of the potential consequence (murder) and you do it anyway. Knowing Paris she probably giggled about it as she went casually about potentially killing someone. As far as I am concerned drunk drivers are attempted murderers and it is all premeditated. You have to premeditate just a bit to find your keys and put them in the ignition don’t you? It requires a decision.

Does what I just wrote sound a little severe? It isn’t if you consider my frame of reference. In my family we just had someone who was only 24 killed by a drunk driver. He was my brother and he had his whole life ahead of him. As far as we are concerned we didn’t think he deserved to have his life ended by the 27 year old woman who was driving drunk along with her drunken best friend either. They were not only drunk, they were stoned and coming back from a good time in South Beach. In fact the woman that killed my brother is a lot like Paris! She had been partying on the beach at the Delano!

This woman has yet to be sentenced but we figure that the drunk driver who killed my brother is going to be put away for a good time longer than spoiled little rich (rhymes with a word that starts with a b followed by itch) girl Paris Hilton. My fear is that Paris Hilton’s early release will cause other drunk drivers to be punished less severely as well!

I actually used to be a big Paris Hilton fan. I even used to imitate the way she dresses. But now I look at her face in photographs and see the countenance of a killer. I am sure I am not the only one seeing this new side to her. Formerly beautiful she now just looks like a sneak in her pictures.

I also have a feeling that she is being let out because she is showing some kind of remorse. This is probably that fake manipulating remorse that so many rich people use to get away with criminal behavior. In the meantime there are babies without mothers crying, widows who will never have sex again and people with posttraumatic stress disorder from holding their dying loved ones in their arms while watching them die in a hospital. All because of a drunk driver just like Paris Hilton.

 

 

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The Right Hand Bling Thing

June 19, 2007

I was thinking it might be time to marry myself instead of waiting to marry someone else. Who needs a man when you can buy a big bling for yourself? I can probably afford a better ring for myself than any of the men that I have met lately.

Some women who buy these big shiny rings are calling them cocktail rings. But what they are really rings for women without fiancées. Everywhere you look, it is the single young women who seem to be sporting the largest, shiniest crystal (fake or real) on the fourth finger of their right hand. These glittering channel bands, or diamond solitaires set in stars, hearts and flower shapes are especially popular with celebrities. Everyone from Paris Hilton to Courtney Love to Pamela Anderson is wearing these.

The diamond companies call these the Right Hand Ring and they are marketing them to young women like me like crazy. They are trying to charge us between 1,500 and $7,000 to wear something quite bridal looking. According to an ad I saw in Vanity Fair, the DeBeers Diamond Trading calls this ring “a symbol “of the strength, success and independence of the woman of the twenty-first century.” I am not sure if I want to fall for that.

It is more of a symbol of materialism rather than anything. Does this mean that the larger the diamond is that you buy for yourself the more committed you are to yourself? Can’t a woman just be committed to herself without spending half of a down payment on a condo on the concept?

The DeBeers had says, “Woman of the world, raise your right hand!” The ad copy says that raising your right hand is a declaration of independence. What does extending the third finger of your right hand mean? Is the insult weaker if you have a big DeBeers bling on it? I guess I’m not feeling that great about diamonds after watching Blood Diamond.

These Right Hand rings are usually pretty expensive – much more than any diamond chip found in the local People’s jeweler in the mall. These diamond rings are nice but I will settle for a great big fake or a semi-precious stone like an aquamarine or a topaz. The nicest ones are the big emerald cut semi-precious stones that are practically the size of a domino.

I guess this idea is good for spinsters who know there is no chance of marriage but still want a ring. It is also good for women who did get married but don’t like the cheap ass ring their husband got them. Maybe that’s why Posh Spice and Madonna own Right Hand Blings as well as the usual left hand ring. Maybe they are just trying to one up the spinsters by getting rocks that are even bigger.

You don’t have to wear a right hand ring to express independence. Many friends of mine wear a diamond ring, either given in engagement or passed down from a loving grandmother, just because they have liked the stone or the way it feels on their hand. And that is the best reason to wear it.

 

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Uh OH! I Slept With The Boss

June 12, 2007

I’ve been waiting for my boss to ask me out for a date. Finally it happened. He asked me if I wanted to have dinner and he said yes.

It was a warm, fragrant smelling evening last week. He took me out to a great Cajun New Orleans style restaurant, and after enjoying spicy sausage, designer martins and crème caramel we took a walk on the boardwalk. He then kissed me and asked asked me if I wanted to go to his condo for a glass of wine. Of course I agreed, and soon we ended up having sex.

The next day I woke up to a breakfast in bed (cooked by him) and a rose on my pillow. That day we went to the art gallery, shopped for a new kitchen table for his place and shared a sexy bubble bath together.

On Sunday, I asked him “should I leave?”, but he insisted I stay. He leant me his sweatshirt and we played Frisbee in the park, and then around five o clock, curled up and watched cartoons together.

Kind of sound like I had it made doesn’t it? You would think that we are now a couple right? The trouble is, that after all that, the next day we went to work and ever since he has pretended that nothing has happened. In fact I haven’t even gotten a phone call or a note telling me what’s going on. He avoids my eyes and treats me in a cold official manner. It’s like he’s never watched The Simpsons with me in his life.

All I’ve gotten is a memo asking me to please not file notes and materials in the wrong filing cabinet and an email about a new recycling program. I feel like such a fool. I would have been better off without the intimacy, than missing it like I do now. It pains me terribly to think he was just pretending to be in a relationship for those three wonderful days.

So after hearing nothing I did something I have never done before in my life and that is hire a psychic. I talked to this psychic called Samantha Stevens on Kasamba, which is a cheaper psychic chat. Like Samantha Stevens is her real name. Anyhow she was quite good. I chose her because she is in her wisdom years has written a ton of a books including one called Creating Love.

Anyhow the upshot seems to be that I fell for one of the oldest self-delusions in the world which is, according to Samantha Stevens, to assume that you are a couple if you sleep together. Apparently sleeping with a guy is next to meaningless and many guys see it as being just as important as going to the toilet.

Yet another depressing thing she told me …guys lose interest after they sleep with you. She was quoting some study.

Unfortunately I can’t express resentment because I am at my job. I don’t think I will ever sleep with the boss again. I hate dreading going to work.

 

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