What’s wrong with Jessica Simpson?

Has anyone looked at picture of Jessica Simpson lately? There is something seriously wrong there. Her lips look like they have been pumped up by an inner tube.

First of all you need to take a good look at her lips. They are really badly distended and turned down in a really unattractive way. She has more than a trout pout. I would call that a Carp Pout. Why is it attractive to make yourself look like a gasping overgrown guppie?

What is even worse is she is painting her guppy lips with this really slick pink lipstick. This emphasizes the constant anxious and meek look that she seems to have. She just doesn’t look confident with those lips. Kissing her must be like kissing a sweaty carp. Those big pads of flesh look really slippery. When John Mayer kisses her he must slide right off and off of her chin.

The thing is that Jessica Simpson used to have really nice lips. They were full like any young person’s should be. She also had a really nice cupid’s bow. Now she looks like she has had an operation to fix a cleft palate. By the way in case you ever wondered where Julia Robert’s thick rubbery lips come from it is from having to have a cleft palate operation when she was born. In fact we can probably all blame Julia for starting this fad for mutant thick lips in the first place. Lisa Rinna is another culprit. Did you know that Lisa Rinna’s lips were so fat that the producers of Melrose Place asked her to deflate them a bit because she was getting hate mail from viewers about them!

If they took a poll among ordinary women we would probably find out that all of us actually hate this fat lip look. The collagen injections are disempowering. They make you look like you have been whopped in the face by a jealous girlfriend.

Yet the other thing about Jessica is that weird red hair she has assumed. It makes her look like a dowdy camp counselor instead of like the mane of a superstar singer. She looked better with blonde hair. Yet it seems like she dyed her hair to please her man – that snooty rich pseudointellectual John Mayer. No matter how hard she tries poor Jessica is never going to be able to turn herself into Anais Nin or Simone De Beauvoir.

I am horrified to think that this insecure woman is supposed to be the role model for thousands of young girls. All she is telling us is that bloating up your lips is the answer to emotionally coping somehow. Obviously she has already been a bad influence on little sister Ashley who recently had all of the character and beauty sucked out of her face including her signature hooked nose and beautiful expressive mouth. Now she just looks like a carbon copy of trout mouthed sister Jessica.