Stop Saying You Are Fat

Ladies you are lying through your teeth all over the dating sites on the Internet again. Studies and first person anecdotes all over the web are saying that tons of women are claiming to be skinny when they are building like brick you know what houses. You are putting up pictures of yourself where you look really thin or even worse really old picots.

Many males say they feel like they are typical or shallow but they are sick of being fooled by women who say they are thin when really they are not. In fact misrepresenting your weight and body type has become a real art for some women. Why you would want to do this to them is a mystery to the men who do not appreciate the distortion of the facts especially when they are repulsed completely by big flabby women. They end up having to suffer through a date with you to be polite (and some do not even bother to do that.)

The problem seems to be with the automatic fill in fields in which you might be required to check a box that identifies your body type. All of these women represent themselves as “average” in size when really they are plus size. Some men go out on date after successive date with women who have said they are small framed or thin and have things hanging, bulging and drooping every where. Here’s a clue – if you have pouches of fat hanging over your kneecaps you are not “average.”

A male friend of mine was complaining about how some women were identifying average lately and I suggested to him that maybe there are a lot of women out there now that that thing 5 foot 4 at eighty pounds is the new average. Many men think about 5’7 and 130 pounds should be the average but this does not reflect how large American women have become in the past ten years.

Conversely women have the same problem only it is usually a man that lists their age as 25 when they are clearly in their mid thirties. Sometimes is really bad. You can see a chicken wattle beneath the man’s neck in his picture on his profile as he stands there wearing his white shoes next to his red corvette.

You know if you are a really fat woman there are many sites online that specialize in matching up plus size women with the men that adore them. Mostly these men are from Asian and Eastern cultures where a heavier woman is more adored. However this will spare you all the trouble of becoming emotionally upset when the man that thinks you are too fat rejects you.


Is It Water Loss or Weight Loss?

It’s January so it is time to be concerned about weight loss because you have to look all slim and beautiful for that date. The thing is most of the products sold online is that they do not help you lose fat. They only cause you to lose water. The loss is temporary and doesn’t include any fat. Diuretics can promote dangerous dehydration and cardiac problems. As soon as the body is dehydrated, the weight returns. Meaningful weight loss requires loss of body fat not water.

One sure way to tell that you are dealing with a weight loss product that is a diuretic is if it makes outrageous promises, such as “Lose Ten Pounds a Week” or “Lose Ten Pounds in Three Days.” This is only possible if you are going to lose water weight.

You can also figure out what products are diuretics by looking at the ingredients, which according to the FDA must be listed from the most to the least. One of the biggest culprits is caffeine. Caffeine may be listed on the box as a main ingredient or it may be concealed in an ingredient such as green tea.

Most magical weight loss formulas (and especially those that are marketed as Chinese or miracle weight loss teas) contain herbs that act as diuretics. There is no such thing as a “fat burning herb” only herbs and botanicals that cause an increase in heart rate, breathing and other functions. This is not “fat burning” it is simply stress for the body that may trigger it to burn more calories.

Here is a breakdown of some of the most common herbs that are described as fat burning or weight loss miracles but that are actually diuretics.

Bochum. This herb is native to South Africa and is a powerful diuretic. Its main side effect is dehydration and the symptoms that come with it such as dizziness and fatigue

Dandelion – One of the safest diuretics, dandelion contains two diuretic chemicals, eudesmanolides and germacranolides, as well as the mineral potassium, which helps to regulate water balance

Horse Chestnut. Horse Chestnut is an old remedy for individuals with blood pressure problems and for varicose veins. It is a powerful diuretic that should never be used more than a day or two. Its main side effect is dehydration.

Kola Nut – This is a powerful diuretic that is not to be trifled with. The side effects are excessive thirst, nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, frequent urination, urges to go on an empty bladder, over stimulation, mania and insomnia.

Uva Ursi. Uva Ursi is traditionally used to treat bladder infections by increasing urine output. Side effects include frequent urination, urges to go and dehydration.

The weight loss herb Hoodia is also classified as a diuretic. Drinking half your body weight in ounces a day of water will aid your metabolism in breaking down fat cells and flushing out toxins.

If you must take a diuretic, beware of carbonated sodas and caffeinated beverages; they may cause stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhea or cause further dehydration while taking these kinds of weight loss supplement formulas.


Weight Loss Magic Pill?

You might wonder why I am so interested in a weight loss drug without side effects. Well it is not for me because I am naturally kind of skinny. I have been hoping that this kind of magic pill would be invented for ages for my overweight friends. They need a pill bad because the only thing that works for them when it comes to losing weight is smoking about a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. Unfortunately when any of them stop smoking they always gain back twenty pounds and it is truly horrific for them. That twenty pounds can mean the difference between getting a job or not, or a date or not and a lot more. I don’t care what everybody says about Jennifer Lopez’s big butt legitimizing the plus size girl and all that. Everywhere I look “thin is in.”

The problem with previous weight loss drugs is that they have all had serious side effects. You could become very nervous, ruin your intestines or drop dead from a heart attack. Seizures were a risk if you took ephedrine. You could die from dehydration drinking some of those so-called Chinese diet teas. Many prescription weight loss drugs on the market can also cause something called anal leakage (I don’t want to go there.) Taking these drugs is has made obese individuals even sicker and putting them at even greater risk of developing diseases like cancer and heart disease.

So I was kind of happy to read this article in Medical News Today, by Dr. Nir Barak of the Tel Aviv University School of Medicine. He has a team that has developed a drug called Histalean, which is based on a previous drug called Betahistamine. Betahistamine is traditionally used to treat vertigo but it is found that it chemically contains compounds that can help block cravings (the same way the drug blocks the sensation of dizziness.) The result is that there is a great potential for weight loss and hundreds of lives could be saved everywhere.

This new medication could also allow fat people who could never exercise before to get an initial boosting work out so that they feel encouraged to work out or stick to a diet plan. Even if people were on it for a short time they could be greatly encouraged by an initial large loss. Unfortunately after many young women quit smoking they blow right up and then fall into a deep depression when they can’t see immediate results from exercising and dieting. Losing two pounds a week can be a slow and unrewarding process for many!

I actually think its main benefit could be to get millions of women off of the cancer sticks. I think the cigarette industry is more than aware of the weight loss attributes of smoking cigarettes and that is why they are marketed to so many young women.


What’s wrong with Jessica Simpson?

Has anyone looked at picture of Jessica Simpson lately? There is something seriously wrong there. Her lips look like they have been pumped up by an inner tube.

First of all you need to take a good look at her lips. They are really badly distended and turned down in a really unattractive way. She has more than a trout pout. I would call that a Carp Pout. Why is it attractive to make yourself look like a gasping overgrown guppie?

What is even worse is she is painting her guppy lips with this really slick pink lipstick. This emphasizes the constant anxious and meek look that she seems to have. She just doesn’t look confident with those lips. Kissing her must be like kissing a sweaty carp. Those big pads of flesh look really slippery. When John Mayer kisses her he must slide right off and off of her chin.

The thing is that Jessica Simpson used to have really nice lips. They were full like any young person’s should be. She also had a really nice cupid’s bow. Now she looks like she has had an operation to fix a cleft palate. By the way in case you ever wondered where Julia Robert’s thick rubbery lips come from it is from having to have a cleft palate operation when she was born. In fact we can probably all blame Julia for starting this fad for mutant thick lips in the first place. Lisa Rinna is another culprit. Did you know that Lisa Rinna’s lips were so fat that the producers of Melrose Place asked her to deflate them a bit because she was getting hate mail from viewers about them!

If they took a poll among ordinary women we would probably find out that all of us actually hate this fat lip look. The collagen injections are disempowering. They make you look like you have been whopped in the face by a jealous girlfriend.

Yet the other thing about Jessica is that weird red hair she has assumed. It makes her look like a dowdy camp counselor instead of like the mane of a superstar singer. She looked better with blonde hair. Yet it seems like she dyed her hair to please her man – that snooty rich pseudointellectual John Mayer. No matter how hard she tries poor Jessica is never going to be able to turn herself into Anais Nin or Simone De Beauvoir.

I am horrified to think that this insecure woman is supposed to be the role model for thousands of young girls. All she is telling us is that bloating up your lips is the answer to emotionally coping somehow. Obviously she has already been a bad influence on little sister Ashley who recently had all of the character and beauty sucked out of her face including her signature hooked nose and beautiful expressive mouth. Now she just looks like a carbon copy of trout mouthed sister Jessica.