I was just surfing a very well known online dating site here as I sit here in my one bedroom condo overlooking the beach in Florida and I just could not believe the number of older guys on there masquerading as young men in the age 20-30 category. This is what happens …
You start browsing and everything seems normal. You see the usual stereotypes — the Tolkien fan with the little goatee on his chin, the Word Nerd squinting with contact lenses on and the jock with a bottle of beer in his hand. You also see guys in their 30s in the age 20-30 category including the bald Michael Stipe look a likes (only with pointier ears and weird shaped heads) and the Peter Pans wearing Borat t-shirts. Having a few guys in their thirties faking out a profile in the 20 to 30 is not so bad.
What I am really complaining about is the guys who are obviously in their late forties to fifties and who are trying pick up young woman like me online. Some of them must really think we are stupid. There are guys on here that could pass for Shar-Pei dogs their faces are so wrinkled. What do they think us girls are thinking – that they forgot to use a little sunscreen one day?
Then there is the way they dress. Most of them are aware that us young chicks like groovy seventies clothes but somehow when these guys don the look they end up looking more like Austin Powers then some cute singer from Scotland.
Also astounding is the number of youth building props that some of these older guys will surround themselves with in order to convince us they are metabolically not so degraded. There is always the guy wearing a lot of gold chains, which unfortunately at his age makes him look less like a rapper and more like my grandma. Many like to pose themselves with a recent model sportscar. One picture I see here shows the guy standing behind his red Ferrari so we can’t see the lower half of his body. Perhaps this is to conceal the fact that he leaning on a cane.
Yet another thing that bothers me is that many of these profiles have not uploaded what looks like a recent photo. Some people who post their photos seem to be posting photographs that look like they are from a high school year book – from 1980. The dead give away is the permed afros, wide ties and brown and orange shirts.
The fact that it is truly hard to find someone that seem truly to be within my own age bracket online is strongly discouraging me from going there. After all who feels like telling grandpa he is too old once you meet him in person? The sad thing about all this too is that probably more than half are married and have daughters that are my age. What a turn on!