I always thought I was pretty smart when judging men but it seems like I am on here every couple of days writing about some jerk. I guess you can never be too careful no matter how heroic someone seems at first.
Anyway I went to Disney with some friends and there I met a marine who also lives in Miami. I met him in those most romantic way…riding the same roller coaster. I know they say that marines have a lady in every port but this one was so nice. He looked like a “momma’s boy.” Really, fresh clean and innocent looking.
We had some French fries together at Disney world and exchanged numbers. Back in Miami he called and we talked on the phone for about two weeks before we actually linked up. Finally after he spent two hours flirting with me on the phone I decided to give him a chance despite everything I had heard about marines and their womanizing ways.
We went to a great little Italian restaurant in town and spent hours petting each other’s hands and gazing into each eyes over really good wine and tiramisu. I was smitten. Also he was so well built like marines can be. We talked all night until the place closed.
Walking hand in hand on the boardwalk I suggest that we go to his place but he says that he can’t have me over because the condo is being painted. Even though I realize this is a red flag I went ahead and invited him over to my place. As we were necking on my couch I felt something vibrate in his pocket. It was his cell phone. That cell phone vibrated against my thigh about eight more times before I asked him to get it. My theory is that if someone is calling you that much he means they have a girlfriend or it is an emergency.
He kept insisting it wasn’t an emergency and for the first time I saw beyond my own lust and that he was just another predator. Probably a two timing predator at this. When I accused him of having a girlfriend he blushed and denied it and that was it. I was so embarrassed I had to ask him to leave. For a minute I thought he was not going to leave and suddenly I was very afraid of that tall muscular toned physique that I was so attracted to in the first place.
Thankfully he left without giving me too much grief. He was a marine after all and if things had got physical I would not have stood a chance. What a waste of time!
Sometimes human nature makes me so sad. This guy was just like that joke – Why does a dog lick its balls. Because it can. He had no real interest in me whatsoever.
As I am the eternal optimist I gamely await my next existential romp through the dating world!