Mr. Soft Core Art Film

November 24, 2007

I met an older man in the Starbucks the other day and he turned out to be a friend of a friend so I thought I would go out with him. I thought he was kind of neat as he was from Canada and was supposed to be some kind of documentary filmmaker. Also he was in town to do some film business and only here for a couple days.

He picked me up in his little rented car as I had agreed to let him take me to the movies. I wasn’t that surprised when he drove me downtown to an “alternative” theater but I was really surprised to determine that the movie we were seeing was some European soft-core porn with subtitles. Remember that film “Rochelle, Rochelle” from the Seinfeld episodes? It was like that.

I had to sit through eighty minutes of the worst moaning and groaning and pumping while this person watched this film with a smug look on his face. He never looked at me once. It was really embarrassed. He didn’t seem to care that I might be embraced. In fact I think he was enjoying my discomfort.

After the movie was over he didn’t say much but insisted that we go for dinner. He takes to me this pristine bar that serves tapes the size of your fingernail and huge designer martinis. After ordering for me, he kept trying to talk to me about the sex lives of people we knew and in particular the people that set his up. He then admitted to having an affair with one of my best male friend’s wife.

I was just listening to him prattle on and kept wondering if he was a sex addict while he kept ordering me martini after martini. He sure liked to talk about sex scenes I films. I know I shouldn’t have kept drinking but they were good appletinis. He kept trying to toast things to get me to drink more. It was really awful.

When the food finally came it was this awful Spanish stuff and the spicy martinis did not mix well the appletinis. I finally told him I really wasn’t feeling well and had to leave. As we were leaving the restaurant I felt the need to vomit! I had no control. Thankfully I was able to sort of hide behind the restaurant dumpster and spew my guts out.

After I was done throwing up I was surprised to find him still waiting for me. He seemed very marry as if he had accomplished some kind of mission. As we were driving I noticed that he was not driving in the right direction. He told me that he was planning to drive me to his place. Vomiting on the floor of his car changed his mind about that!

Anyhow I don’t know what to think about this weird Canadian except maybe the documentary he was making was actually about human wildlife. I am glad he has left town!

 

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Good Samaritan Gone Bad

November 9, 2007

I just had a really disappointing experience with a Good Samaritan who wanted to pay for his good deed with sex. Ugh.

I was driving home from an All Saints Eve Party where we had to dress like Tarts and Vicars like on Bridget Jones. I was dressed in fishnets, a white wig and a red dress. I wasn’t drunk, just kind of chill (if you know what I mean.) The next thing I know I lose the front left tire off of my car and it goes spinning off into the ditch. After getting it together to realize that it was my tire I was seeing spinning beside me on the road and that the sparks I see is the casing of my car scraping the pavement I slam on the brakes. I am in the middle of nowhere with Florida swamp on both sides and my car is also sitting in the middle of the road.

Not to be daunted I immediately got my cell phone out of my purse and proceeded to call for help. Battery dead. I don’t usually cry but all I could was sit there and bawl.

Then through my tears I saw this man rolling my tire up the hill. He was nice looking in his late forties and he had white hair instead of a white horse but he was Prince Charming to me in that minute that is for sure.

The first thing I asked him was whether or not he had a phone and he claimed not to. He did say though that he could give me a lift back to town and that his car was parked just over the hill. He had pulled over to the side when he saw my tire rolling down the hill at his vehicle.

We strolled down the hill to his car and the minute I got in I regretted it. All the guy did was paw me. He put his hand on my knee the minute the key was in the ignition. The whole time I was fighting him off and saying know. He was grabbing for breasts, crotch anything he could get. At one point he did get hold of one of my breasts and I slapped him. He stopped the car and ordered me out.

Believe it or not this Good Samaritan would not help me unless I had sex with him. After walking along the highway myself a few miles he did come back twice, slowly driving the car beside me as if hoping I would change my mind. All he did was really creep me out. However what creped me out even further was watching him pick up a cell phone and talk on it. It turned out he had a cell phone the entire time.

It took me about forty minutes to walk to the nearest gas station where the real good Samaritan, the attendant, helped me call a tow truck.

 

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Have A Good Cry While Exercising

November 3, 2007

I don’t know about you but sometimes I have really bad days and have no way of letting out my feelings. Most of my bad feelings center around men and the way they have disappointed me. I have some real resentments when it comes to the way some of them have treated me. I also have remorse when it comes to not respecting myself more when it comes to men. I feel guilty and ashamed that I have not treated myself better. Then when the reality kicks in that I did the best that I could with the only kind of man that was available at the time the grief really kicks in.

The problem is that this stuff builds up inside me like a pressure cooker whose lid is never taken off. This is not a good state to be in. A girl needs a good cry every now and then to stay healthy. This is also because it is unseemly for a woman to show anger in society. One of the ways we show anger is to bawl our heads of.

I used to watch sad movies to try and have a catharsis so I could cry. Listening to music like the Cranberries can also trigger a needed emotional release. However I was intrigued to read that exercise can do it too.

According to a piece called Moved to Tears written by MSNBC columnist Jacqueline Stenson exercise can cause you to cry. This is because certain body movements can help release dammed up feelings and emotions. It is apparently quite common for instructors to see exercisers releasing pent up emotions during Pilates, Yoga or other types of classes. I have actually seen this. The girl doing the downward dog who suddenly starts sobbing. The woman doing Aquafit with tears slipping out of her eyelids.

The theory is that the body tends to hold on to feelings long after the mind has let them go. The motion of exercise has a way of triggering the connection between the mind and body so that these feelings can be felt again. This is because when we are in the grip of our emotions we sometimes don’t feel our emotions. Doing yoga or hard exercise makes us feel our bodies again.

Some people cry during the quieter disciplines such as Yoga as it is the only time during the day when they are able to slow down, breathe and identify how they really feel. It can be triggered by fast exercise as well. I get emotional when I ride my bike sometimes. I also know that the road rage I feel at cars and stupid pedestrians while I am on my bike is also caused by pent up emotions.

Of course this theory is not unfamiliar to Chinese doctors who have been identifying energy blocks caused by negative feelings for years and who have been using needles to remove them.

 

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The MacDonald’s Guy

October 28, 2007

Didn’t believe it could happen to me but it did. I met one of those guys who take you to MacDonald’s for a first date.

I met him last week after a class and he seemed nice enough. He is a science major. He asked for my phone number but I did not give it to him at first because I was just not in the mood for any more man.

However he looked better to me the night after when my girlfriends and I bumped into him at a party. He really got me laughing when he spent the longest time trying to guess my phone number. I found out his name was Paul and that he was studying to be a doctor. After he charmed me for about a half an hour I agreed to go out with him the next night. He said he wanted to take me to “dinner” and to consider it a date.

So I was pretty happy when he when pulled up the next day in his car. I had gotten all dressed up in this nice eighties retro plum colored dress and black high heels. He looked a little casual but I had no idea that he was thinking of taking me to MacDonald’s for dinner.

Even when he told me we were going to MacDonald’s I started laughing because I thought he was joking. Even when we pulled into the parking lot I still thought he was pulling my leg. Then I realized when he parked the car that this really was his idea of the dinner date and that it was not some kind of quick snack beforehand. This was the whole deal.

He did seem a little sheepish as we sat at our little plastic tables. It might have been because I was so overdressed. Also he was not as witty as the night before. It occurred to me quite quickly that this was one of these guys that can’t come out of their shell unless they are drunk.

After our meal of “two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun was over he suggested we go to a bar. We ended up in this seedy student pub by the campus where I got to watch him play pool. Yep he was one of those guys too – the kind that never asks the girl if she wants to play too. He was just into the guys and expecting me to sit there like some kind of submissive little thing… this is jus ton my style. The sad thing is I could have beat him at pool too if he had only let me play.

After watching him lose at pool a few times I got a bad case of “what am I doing here” and left. He actually called again today but I think I am going to ignore him this time. All he wanted to know is how I got home! Jerk!

 

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