The Crib From Hell

December 29, 2007

Okay this is just a terrible story simply because it is so sad that some people have to live this way.

Tuesday I went out with this great guy. He was an advertising marketing executive and really cute, funny and sexy. I went out on two great dates with him – one to a Spanish tapas place and another to roller skating rink before I decided I would let him take me home to his place on third date.

The third date was actually a cooking class on How to Make Sushi and after the two of us stuffed ourselves with shrimp, avocado and other aphrodisiacs as well as some warm Saki I could hardly wait to rip his clothes off.

So we get to his place and the first thing I notice outside the door is the smell. It is this ammonia like reek and I ask him if he has cats or a litter box and he says, “No, I don’t know where it is coming from.” I soon find out when I visit his bathroom later. This man simply never learned how to “aim for the toilet.”

However the urine colored walls and floor in his bathroom was not the worst of it. The sink was coated in soap and shaving cream scum. The very worst thing was all of the hair that was everywhere – on the floors, the shower stall and even on the seat of the toilet. It was like a big shaggy dog lived there and not a person.

This however was not as gross as the kitchen, which was piled sky high with old dishes. On top of that was piled cardboard dishes and take out boxes. There were actually maggots crawling around the sink and at the base of the refrigerator where it appears he stood in front of door eating and drinking and spilling stuff on the floor.

The rest of the room was covered with magazines and clothing that look like it had all been whirled together in a giant invisible blender. Also every now and then were half full bags full of reeking garbage. It looked like he would try to clean up every now and then, fill half of a garbage bag and then forget about it. There was also a terrible reek coming from beneath his couch as I walked by and I did not even want to deign to guess what it could be – dead dog? Old pizza? Vomit?

My opinion of him changed immediately. What a turn off. I made the excuse that I forgot that I had an appointment at 7:30 in the morning and got out of there quickly. As I left he kept saying to me “Is it the place?” but of course I did not have the heart to just go yes. All I know is that a person that non-hygienic is probably not clean in other areas of his life and may be sloppy with things like STD and birth control. Who needs it?

 

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When a Celebrity Steals Your Man

December 26, 2007

It is bad enough when just any old girl steals your boyfriend but it really hurts when it is a celebrity. That is because celebrities have so much power. They have money too and they can do things to really hurt you if you just try and do something like contact like the guy. They can also accuse you of stalking because of their celebrity status which is quite grotesque if all you are trying to do is get him to pay his electric bill or back rent.

A friend of my older sister’s recently had her boyfriend stolen by a celebrity and she is such a witch I would never mention her name here. In fact it was more than just her boyfriend it was her husband and she had two kids by him. Both him and her are in their late thirties and mildly successful at acting. Well, he happened to have a part as an extra in a movie this starlet was appearing in and somehow he fell for her charms. Her charms are few by the way. She is one of those actresses who has a famous television film producer for a father and only has a career because Daddy gave her a part in his telegrams. Furthermore she is also one of the richest girls in the world and grew up in a home so pampered that her mother kept not one, but two rooms in which the two of them would wrap presents.

My friend’s husband never told her about the affair he was having an affair with this blonde haired bimbo of an actress (who I think has the face of a horse). She found out by seeing pictures of them getting tattoos with each other’s names and portraits in a local tabloid. Once those came out he refused to talk to her from the film location. After that all she looked at was pictures of stolen kisses taken by paparazzi. That just had to hurt.

I think that if a major celebrity steals your man and that if they have a lot of money that they should at the very least pay you off. Here is our friend who is a single mom raising two kids while her deadbeat husband goes off with this poor little rich girl who is now pregnant and featuring the two of them in a reality series. There is no thought at all to the pain she is cueing others, especially these two young children. She needs to pay the wife and kids their living expenses. Their mother, who is an actress in her own right but not as famous because she is Canadian is now deeply depressed and finding it hard to work. Little Miss L.A. Nepotism needs to pay for that.

What kind of Christmas does this rich actress thing the three of them (his real family) had without their Dad on the scene? What is even worse is that on her reality television we all have to look at this two faced man stealer with her swollen breasts and pregnant stomach. What a cow!

 

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Hard Wired Instincts

December 26, 2007

You have probably heard again and again how men have hard wired instincts, how they are like alpha dogs and they only want one thing – sex!

Men don’t know it but women’s self help books on attraction, dating and hooking a man are filled with descriptions of us as being helpless victims of our instincts. Men’s hard-wired instincts are more famous. Every woman knows they have to be trained and disciplined like dogs or else we will attempt to have sex with anything that moves. It might be true but you don’t have to let yourself be manipulated because of it. If a man had his way he would have sex with as many women as without having to marry a single one of them.

Oh I am sure that when some find the right woman he will marry her but that opportunity doesn’t seem to naturally present it self that often. In the meantime many men are quite happy to play the field and date as many women as often as they want and as often as they please. As a woman I am not going to argue too much with this even though I hate it because what can I do about it? Men act like dogs and it is futile for me to fight that.

So how are some men able to do this even though they are uglier than sin? How are some of these men able to convince hundreds of women that I am the best thing since James Bond with a martini in a hot tub?

It is important to realize that women have hardwired instincts too – urges that they can’t seem to help. One of them is that woman want what other women want. Notice how no woman wants a guy that is not already somehow “taken.” This is the woman’s hard-wired instinct at work.

There is some really hard research to back up this theory. Long ago when we were cave people many women simply died in childbirth. Wild beasts while on the hunt would also eat males. The only way to keep mankind thriving was for a male to have multiple partners.

Have you ever wondered why the woman who has an unfaithful partner just seems to want him more and more? Watch women who have been dumped by men – they will obsess over just one guy and even ignore perfectly nice guys who approach them while savoring the memory of this one jerk who has betrayed them again and again.

So why do women do this? Why do they love the bastard and treat the nice guy like a piece of gum on the bottom of their stiletto shoe.

It is because women are hard wired to see the unfaithful male as the strongest male in the human herd. Sad but true. Just keeping this one principle in mind – woman want what other woman — can go a long way towards helping you feed the most God awful of men the delusion that you are the greatest thing since George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas all rolled up into one.

 

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Speed Dating Games

December 6, 2007

Can you really meet the man or women of your dreams after just a few minutes of casual chit-chat? That’s the premise behind speed dating.

The best way to describe speed dating is as a cross between a job interview, a blind date and a game of musical chairs. Participants get three to eight minutes, depending on where you are playing the game and to meet scores of different potential partners. With speed dating you can meet as many as twenty-five people (in one session.

The idea get to meet a number of strangers within the safety of a friendly and merry environment that is policed by the organizers. At the end of the night you can ask a partner for a date, but a date only takes place if the other person is agreed.

You are advised to turn down speed dating events that are too publicly advertised or take place in a bar that is known for its wild antics. Often, with this type of heavily promoted speed dating venture, you run the risk of having an audience gawk at you while you meet potential partners.

Always check out the venue before you attend an event to make sure that you are not part of a public spectacle. Speed dating that is held at a church or community venue is probably your safest bet when it comes to privacy, tact and anonymity.

Speed dating probably best suits busy careerists who would benefit from meeting as many people as they can within a short period of time. Speed dating suits health professionals and individuals who work off-hours, such as waitresses, shift-workers, and health professionals. It’s good for those who always find themselves working the traditional date nights such as Friday and Saturday night.

Speed dating also benefits those who are looking for a more serious relationship, as it is understood that these functions are for individuals who are looking for a long-term connection. If you are sick of the immaturity or addictions that come hand-in-hand with people you meet in bars and clubs then this might be a more efficient way to meet someone who is not intent on wasting your time with their emotional problems.

I am not so sure this mating sport is for me. It is a bit stiff. Still it sounds fun and like a great way to save time. The problem with blind dates and personals is that they do not satisfy a very crucial requirement needed in order for two people to hit it off and see each other again: physical attraction and chemistry. Speed dating allows you to meet in person and see if the two of you actually click. You are not required to waste the time that you would meeting someone on a blind date. On a blind date, many squander hours of time being courteous to an individual they would rather just get away from.

 

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