Some women really fear dating. This is easy to get over. First of stop defining yourself by men who don’t matter to you anymore unless it has been constructive criticism from licensed therapists
You’ve got to be aware of your internal dialogue; you know that little voice in your head that speaks all the time? It’s probably happening right now. As you’re reading this, you have other things going on in your head. It could be related to dating or something totally different.
Your inner critic is controlling most of your interactions. Let’s be clear…YOU are not. That inner voice is flowing all the time and it’s going to throw negative thoughts at you; it’s going to try to derail you and remind you about all of the reasons that you won’t be successful with men. It is the eternal battle of the subconscious mind against the rational mind. The most civilized of beings know how to quell these self-critical thoughts.
The first step is realizing that it exists and getting control of it. Refuse to let it control your success with men. It is simply time to forget what other people think if you want to get ahead on the dating scene.
Based on your past failures, your inner voice could be telling you anyone of the following things:
This kind of thing never happens to you —
· Men don’t respond to you
· You’re not funny
· You’re not confident
· You’re not good looking
· You don’t have anything to offer
You are too fat
You are a dumb blonde/wear glasses
You are too thin
· You’re not interesting
· You’re not dressed cool enough
· Your hair looks bad
· You’re going to run out of things to say
He will be more attracted to your friends than you
It’s telling you every reason why you won’t be successful. It’s also warning you about the possible negative outcomes such embarrassment and rejecting:
When you get nervous, you fall back on behavior that feels comfortable to you. Your defense mechanism kicks in and you start manifesting the wrong events.
You are spending a lot of energy on behavior that isn’t getting you what you want that you have none left for later when you have an actual opportunity.
Your father, your best friend who had an unrequited crush from you and your ex all have a secret agenda to hurt your feelings as they all are motivated by a desire to prevent other women from spending time in your company. If you are defining yourself by negative criticism from a man who is out of our life it is time to let it go.