Have you ever gone out with one of those “whatever” guys? No matter what you ask them to do they just go “whatever.” It is the height of romantic nihilism and I think in terms of relationships, the height of irresponsibility and emotionally cold and unavailable. Whatever happened to the guy that is strong, determined and able to make decisions. I’m not asking for Prince Charming but I do like to be swept off of my feet sometimes.
I have been seeing this one guy on and off for a few months and the reason he will never become a boyfriend of mine for real is because he is a “whatever” guy. For instance the other night I was feeling kind of lonely and figured I would call Whatever Guy up to see if he just wanted to go hang around somewhere at a beachside café and maybe get something to eat.
So I phone him and say, “So what are you up to?” I am always nice and casual with no pressure and he says “Watching Seinfeld reruns.” Of course he never asks me what I have been up to. That is how Mr. Whatever lets me know that he could care less.
I then tell him that I thinking of going and hanging around on the beachfront and maybe getting a cup of coffee or something to eat and he says “I just had a cup of coffee.”
Even more disconcerting about this whole conversation is that I think that he was very much enraptured by the Seinfeld episode he was watching. So I say, “well you don’t have to have coffee you can have beer or wine or something else.”
This is his cue to say “whatever.”
When I then ask him what time he wants to meet he also says “whatever.”
Just as I am starting to get the feeling that he just doesn’t want to see me at all he turns it around and goes – “Which restaurant.”
I am not sure what I think of Mr. Whatever’s manner. My female friends say he is depressed and apathetic. My male friends here however say that he is not shy, or undecided or passive aggressive or anything like that. They say that they use the words “whate3ver” when they don’t want to see someone and that he might just be agreeing to see me because he has nothing better to do with his time and is bored. The men say that it is code for “don’t get your hopes up.”
All I have to say about that is ‘Ouch!” I think my mother would say that I deserve something better then the ‘whatever” man but oddly I am attracted to him. There is nothing like someone not wanting you to make you want them more. This is especially true if you have already had sex with him. It is one of the crazy laws of the universe when it comes to love.