No Net?

October 15, 2007

I just got back from one of the STRANGEST dates of my life! Everything about it was different and I don’t mean a FUN or GOOD kind of different. Starting right off with the fact that I didn’t meet this guy online. Serious, it was my first non-line (J) date in months. There are these tennis courts I walk by every afternoon on my way home and I started noticing this guy there maybe three or four days a week. So of course I can tell you he was in kicking shape, who wouldn’t be after all that exercise so often?

So I started watching him play, just sitting quietly off to one side. Sometimes I’d go get a coffee and then come back to watch. Not like I’m into tennis that much beyond Roddick and that shaved head guy who married another tennis player, but it was fun to watch and even kind of relaxing. This guy was older than me but not by much, and he always played with different partners. I was really into his dedication and focus.

So after a week or two he noticed me sitting there and came over to say hello on a break from playing. We talked a little and he told me he was in the restaurant business and that he always tried to take as many afternoons as possible to go out and play tennis. He didn’t ask to see me again right away, and I kind of liked that, so I went back the following week and this time he came over and invited me to join him after the match. I couldn’t that day so we made a date for a few days after that.

So fast forward to last night, when we met up at a bar near a restaurant where he told me he’s part-owner. We’re there only about ten or fifteen minutes when he starts an argument with me, and not a constructive argument either. He asked me how much time I spend online average each day, and I told him it varies, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know where he was going with this, but then he made it crystal clear: he said the Net “ruins people’s minds” and why am I online when I could just go do something else, like play tennis? I was shocked, didn’t know what to say right off…and then he asked me if I used online dating and I told him yes, I used it a lot. And then he just about lost it! He luanched into some kind of moral speech about the Net separating people instead of bringing them together, why am I a part of the problem, blah blah blah. I excused myself and took off, the only time I’ve EVER done that, but what else could I do? This guy was out of control.

I’m not going offline and I’m not going to listen to ignorant people try to dig up something wrong because maybe they’re not happy with their own lives. I like the people I meet, people like YOU, and that’s it

 

Dating Journal
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Gemstones for Attracting Love

October 12, 2007

I ran across this interesting article by Samantha Stevens, author of Creating Love and with her permission I have a list here of the types of gemstones that you can wear or carry to attract love.

Sapphire: This stone protects you from forces antithetical to love such as violence and lust. The sapphire can help women select an appropriate husband.

Yellow Topaz: This clear yellow gem is the ‘problem-solving stone’. This stone is also good for those who feel ‘numbed by disappointment’. It allows codependents to release drunken or abusive partners. It can also help obsessive people learn to let go. It helps you recognize your patterns and see the ‘big picture’ in life.

Rose Quartz: This light pink crystal heals the heart and promotes a sense of self-appreciation, and self-love. It also helps you open your heart’s center so that you can give love, unconditionally without any expectation of a reward in return. It improves your mood and enhances feelings of joy.

Diamond: Diamonds have traditionally symbolized the commitment of one human being to another. It helps you perceive beyond surface appearance and understand the truth about another person.

Emerald: This brilliant green stone is used to help you learn lessons, so you don’t repeat mistakes in your love life. Its deep sea green color is reminiscent of the subconscious, so it can assist in the manifestation of appropriate relationships in your life.

Ruby: The blood red light of the ruby helps to dispel feelings of discouragement and self-doubt and infuse your heart, mind and aura with love.

It can help you achieve a vibrant social life and attract the right friends.

Amethyst: This beautiful purple stone that helps you let go of past hurts and relationships. It will help you access the truth that will set you free.

As not everyone can afford rubies, sapphires and diamonds, there are also many semi-precious stones out there that also raise your vibration to attract prosperity.

Agate: strengthens your insight, promotes fidelity

Aquamarine: activates memory of past lives so we don’t repeat mistakes

Carnelian: dispels laziness, rage, jealousy, envy and fear

Garnet: love, devotion, commitment, gets rid of feelings of abandonment,

Hematite: transforms negative energy to the positive, attracts love

Jade: fidelity, devotion, love-drawing, lucid dreaming, intuition,

Lapis Lazuli: awareness, intuition, cures depression, love attracting

Mica: beauty for eyes and hair.

Moonstone: new beginnings, hoping, wishing, tenderness, compassion, mercy

Obsidian: grounding, protection, dispels obsessions, raises self-esteem

Onyx: banishes grief, increases self-control, making wise choices

Opal: brings out the best in you, acting from the heart, invoking visions, dreams,

Pearl: faith, charity, innocence integrity, spiritual guidance, increases fertility

Peridot: attracts friends, cleanses heart, happiness

Quartz (clear): balances energy field restores harmony, intuition,

Quartz (rose): attracts love, heals emotional wounds, opens heart center and clears skin

Quartz (smoky): dissolves negative energies, resentment, enhances self-esteem

Samantha’s excellent books on metaphysics and love are available on Amazon. You can also get a love reading from her on Kasamba. Just type Samantha Stevens into the search engine at kasamba.com and she will give you a love or dating psychic reading.

 

Dating Journal
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Brit’s Actor

October 9, 2007

When I date I’ve never had too much of a problem with big egos, but my girlfriend Brit just broke up with maybe the biggest ego of all time. I only met him once, but it was the kind of thing you don’t forget and right away I asked her what her problem was, hanging onto this guy for over like five minutes, let alone the two or three months she dated him.

They met on the Net on a couples site I don’t use anymore because of a few disasters too many. Brit was talking about him for like three weeks before they actually met, going on and on about how he was an actor and she’d never dated an actor before. I kept asking what she’d seen him in, or if there was anything about him I could look up, but she said he was sketchy on the details. Still, she totally believed him and the photos he sent her did look pretty good.

Ater they got together a few times she was still excited, if also a bit confused. She liked him but she told me he never once asked her anything about herself, like, not even once on three dates. But she kept going out with him because he thought he was the hottest thing going. I think a lot of you know where this kind of thing leads, and it’s never good, is it. Or you’re really lucky if it does work out. So I met him when I hooked up with both of them at a movie. Brit was right about him being kind of hot, but he wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt, and anyway I was just concerned about the way he treated my friend, that was it. I was with an old friend (a cool guy I used to date), but he didn’t say much to us beyond introductions. After the movie we went to a bar and suddenly he opened up, but not in a good way. It was all about him, of course.

As for acting, he didn’t have much to say about his experience but he sure had a whole lot to say about his abilities! He kept saying “I’m a triple threat, I’m a triple threat!” over and over, until we finally got him to explain just what that meant, and he just about barked it out: “I can SING, I can ACT and I can DANCE!” It’s an amazing thing to have all three, but he just came off like a lot of hot air and then he became really annoyed when we started asking him about his “credits”, movies or television, that kind of thing. He told us we wouldn’t understand his “vision” anyway, so that sort of became his excuse for not admitting to us that he was either a bad actor or an unsuccessful one anyway.

Brit didn’t last too much longer with him. I don’t want to give actors a bad name or anything, but this particular one? I bet he can’t even remember Brit’s name. That’s how into himself he was. So it wouldn’t hurt to tread carefully when you date an “artist”..;)!

 

Dating Journal
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Medical Treatment for Angry Men

October 6, 2007

All of this writing I have been doing about male anger inspired a reader to ask me a very good question. “Is there any medical treatment available for men who are chronically angry?”

This is an interesting question as there are many women out there who continue to stay with a guy even if he is a beater or even just a woman like me who has had to reluctantly drop a guy she really likes because he can’t handle himself.

So are there magic bullets out there that can handle this? It depends if the person has a treatable disorder that has anger as a symptom. Some of the most common of these disorders are Attention Deficit Disorder, addiction and withdrawal and a plethora of psychological disorders including manic depression, post-partum depression and personality disorders.

Usually aggression is part of any disease or disorder that causes a mood disorder. Such individuals become angry because they have a problem that causes them to overreact to stimuli. Damaged nerves or an overproduction of certain chemicals in the body could cause this. In these cases it is usually medications that are prescribed by doctors.

Sexual frustration is also associated with aggression, especially amongst adolescents. Interaction with a female with whom an adult male is infatuated may precipitate aggression. Usually psychological counseling is recommended for individuals who suffer from aggression.

When medication is prescribed for anger it is usually a psychotropic. The choice of medication for treatment of aggression depends on what the underlying symptoms are. For instance, if the child or adolescent has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and the aggression stems from impulsive behavior, then the use of stimulants such as Ritalin or Adderall might help.

If the angry emotional reaction behavior is marked by hyperarousal then sedative drugs such as clonidine or guanfacine (Tenex), which decrease something called norepinephrine levels. This have an overall calming effect.

If anxiety is the main problem and aggression occurs in situations which escalate anxiety, treatment with a selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil or Celexa. These drugs decrease anxiety, aggression, obsessive/compulsive behavior and smooth out irritability or minor mood fluctuations

If more severe mood instability occurs in association with aggression, then doctors and psychiatrists usually prescribe a mood stabilizer Anticonvulsant agents such as Tegretol, Depakene or Depakote are very effective mood stabilizers, but they are hard on the liver. Lithium is another commonly prescribed mood stabilizer, especially for manic depressives who are irritable and hyperstimulated in the manic phase of the disease.

If none of the above seems to work, the angry and aggressive individual may be prescribed on of the many T new atypical antipsychotic agents such as Seroquel or Topmax. Not sure I vouch for any of this. I think me should just control themselves.

 

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