Thanks for the Time of My Life!

By now I should have learned not to trust my gut instincts when it comes to “love at first sight”. However I will never learn as obviously my judgment is way completely distorted by hormones. Oops, I did it again– I chose absolutely the wrong guy to become smitten with–

Our story starts about a month ago when I met this guy in a coffee shop. He was really, and seemed smart as a whip. After a few weeks we sort of fell into a routine where I would stop by at a certain time, to see if he was there …and he always would be. He would be sitting there, giving me the sweetest looks as he looked up from his notebook where he was always furiously writing. “Ah” I thought, “He’s deep! He’s another writer!”

After several more “accidental on purpose” meetings in the coffee shop he finally asked me out on what I thought was going to be a date. He told me he was going to take me some place really really special and that it was going to blow my mind. He guaranteed me that my life would be completely changed after this date.

He also told me how special I was because he found it hard to “trust” and that he was going to take me to a place where he had never taken a girl before.

So I got all dressed up, thinking we were going to some special romantic spot where he would confess his devotion to me somehow or at least say, “Hey do you want to go steady.”

He picks me up and the next thing I know we are driving into the parking lot a church and I’m thinking “well, maybe he’s really into architecture.” Next thing after that I know we are in a room filled with chairs and my date is sitting in a circle with the rest of them with a big smile on his face saying, “My name is Steven and I am an alcoholic.”

When it came my turn to speak, and I dared to say that I wasn’t an alcoholic, they all frowned and looked at me strangely. One of them even asked me if I was in denial.

During the meeting I at the very least got to find out what Steven was writing in that little book all those days in the coffee shop and it turned out to be a long “Fifth Step” where the alcoholic is supposed to take a personal inventory. In there was a litany of crimes that he voiced out loud including not paying his child support (surprise!) to his wife (surprise!), doing crack cocaine (surprise!) and driving drunk and hitting an old man (surprise!). So it seems that glow I saw on his face and then kind of fell in love with was not the glow of writer inspiration but rather some kind of sweaty guilt.

After the A.A. meeting, Steven invited me along with the rest to that same old coffee shop. I told him to “get with the program” and walked home alone.