Springing For A Matchmaking Service

One of my best friends is my sister’s ex and he is a pretty nice guy. We went to school together and I was a few years behind him. He happens to be a top chef in one of the nicest hotels around here and he has done quite well for himself.

Still, despite his success he hasn’t met the right woman. He tried dating online like me for a while but he has had nothing but bad luck with that as well (just like me.) The last woman he dated claimed to be a wealthy widow and then he caught her stealing subway fare out of his restaurant till. He also dated a woman who said she was an artist and instead turned out to be this whacked out manic-depressive who did not leave him alone for months. He had to eventually get a restraining order because she pitched a tent outside his restaurant.

Anyhow, Richard (not his real name) decided to leave the trenches of online dating for good. Instead he just paid an online mating service fifteen thousand dollars to match him up with ten quality women. I am just aghast that he would put up that kind of cash to meet a woman but he says it is worth it if he can find the right partner – “a soul mate that will be the last face I see when I die.”

The idea is that these people do all the sleuthing and matching up for you. People have to pass rigorous tests before they can join and rigorous background checks are performed. Ricardo hired them specifically because of the background check because he is sick of women telling him they have degrees when they don’t, that they are divorced when they are not and lying about what they do for a living. Of course I tell him they are lying to impress him because he is a bit of a celebrity around here but being the honest, straightforward and talented person that he is he is not impressed by this.

I on the other hand am not that impressed by how much this type of service costs. And only ten dates for fifteen thousand dollars. These women better be wealthy! Can’t they lower the price a bit and get you the same kind of quality person. Or is searching for a Heart of Gold actually worth its weight in gold when it comes to matchmaker prices?

Whether the meeting happened on the Internet or the corner cafe, one fact remains: In the search for happily ever after, we’ve all had a date with disaster. What remains to be seen if is this matchmaking company will succeed in helping Richard find the partner he needs. I will be sure to keep you posted in this space about what happens to Richard and whether or not this type of service is worth it. By the way just so you don’t lose all hope if you are a woman sometimes you can join these services for free.


Oh No, He Doesn’t Do No!

Okay I am still stewing because I am not being left alone by a guy even though we only had one first date about a month ago. It turns out that he was a guy that “doesn’t do no.” You know what I am talking about – the guy whose Daddy told him never to take NO for answer or he is an inferior male or the Guy who spent hours studying the Secret (boy that book sucks) and now thinks that when people say no to him that it is somehow the failure of soul.

I went out on just one little old date with this one guy and it you would think that I have ruined his entire life or something. It was only one single dinner, (if that is what you call Pizza Palace) and afterwards I emailed him and said I just wasn’t interested and thanks I had a nice time. I handled it this way to be polite as a mutual friend set us up and I was trying to nip in the bud before I had a drama on my hands.

Of course the minute Mr. Never Say No got my email he got affronted and shot back an email asking me why. Never one to mince words I sent him back a more detailed accounting of my reasons including the phrase “I am not attracted and I don’t think we are compatible.” I only did this to be honest as we met through a matchmaking friend and I really think it was a fair to say we didn’t click. Isn’t rejection part of dating sometimes?

Well he has been acting the obsessed clown in that Seinfeld episode where Elaine gets stalked ever since. He keeps emailing me and phoning and leaving messages about knowing why and where he went wrong. He’s talking like we have been married for fifty years and like I suddenly decided to blindside him with a divorce.

Well, it has been over a months and the mutual is still approaching me and saying things like, “Do know what you did to Sean? He is really hurt.” I really don’t understand. I am also starting to feel a lot like a product that was sold to someone and then didn’t live up to its guarantee of having sex with him or something.

The really ironic thing is that he is also accusing me, of all things – LYING to him. It’s not like I told him I loved him on the first date or anything. If anything he is lying to himself by making so much of so little.

Isn’t the first thing you kind of learn in kindergarten that when someone says, “No, I don’t want to play with you.” – that you respect it. You don’t make the person play with you! However that is exactly what these two are doing – trying to make me play when I don’t want to! EW!

I am really wondering when all of this is finally going to end. I guess that

some people just can’t take no for an answer.