Springing For A Matchmaking Service

One of my best friends is my sister’s ex and he is a pretty nice guy. We went to school together and I was a few years behind him. He happens to be a top chef in one of the nicest hotels around here and he has done quite well for himself.

Still, despite his success he hasn’t met the right woman. He tried dating online like me for a while but he has had nothing but bad luck with that as well (just like me.) The last woman he dated claimed to be a wealthy widow and then he caught her stealing subway fare out of his restaurant till. He also dated a woman who said she was an artist and instead turned out to be this whacked out manic-depressive who did not leave him alone for months. He had to eventually get a restraining order because she pitched a tent outside his restaurant.

Anyhow, Richard (not his real name) decided to leave the trenches of online dating for good. Instead he just paid an online mating service fifteen thousand dollars to match him up with ten quality women. I am just aghast that he would put up that kind of cash to meet a woman but he says it is worth it if he can find the right partner – “a soul mate that will be the last face I see when I die.”

The idea is that these people do all the sleuthing and matching up for you. People have to pass rigorous tests before they can join and rigorous background checks are performed. Ricardo hired them specifically because of the background check because he is sick of women telling him they have degrees when they don’t, that they are divorced when they are not and lying about what they do for a living. Of course I tell him they are lying to impress him because he is a bit of a celebrity around here but being the honest, straightforward and talented person that he is he is not impressed by this.

I on the other hand am not that impressed by how much this type of service costs. And only ten dates for fifteen thousand dollars. These women better be wealthy! Can’t they lower the price a bit and get you the same kind of quality person. Or is searching for a Heart of Gold actually worth its weight in gold when it comes to matchmaker prices?

Whether the meeting happened on the Internet or the corner cafe, one fact remains: In the search for happily ever after, we’ve all had a date with disaster. What remains to be seen if is this matchmaking company will succeed in helping Richard find the partner he needs. I will be sure to keep you posted in this space about what happens to Richard and whether or not this type of service is worth it. By the way just so you don’t lose all hope if you are a woman sometimes you can join these services for free.


When a Celebrity Steals Your Man

It is bad enough when just any old girl steals your boyfriend but it really hurts when it is a celebrity. That is because celebrities have so much power. They have money too and they can do things to really hurt you if you just try and do something like contact like the guy. They can also accuse you of stalking because of their celebrity status which is quite grotesque if all you are trying to do is get him to pay his electric bill or back rent.

A friend of my older sister’s recently had her boyfriend stolen by a celebrity and she is such a witch I would never mention her name here. In fact it was more than just her boyfriend it was her husband and she had two kids by him. Both him and her are in their late thirties and mildly successful at acting. Well, he happened to have a part as an extra in a movie this starlet was appearing in and somehow he fell for her charms. Her charms are few by the way. She is one of those actresses who has a famous television film producer for a father and only has a career because Daddy gave her a part in his telegrams. Furthermore she is also one of the richest girls in the world and grew up in a home so pampered that her mother kept not one, but two rooms in which the two of them would wrap presents.

My friend’s husband never told her about the affair he was having an affair with this blonde haired bimbo of an actress (who I think has the face of a horse). She found out by seeing pictures of them getting tattoos with each other’s names and portraits in a local tabloid. Once those came out he refused to talk to her from the film location. After that all she looked at was pictures of stolen kisses taken by paparazzi. That just had to hurt.

I think that if a major celebrity steals your man and that if they have a lot of money that they should at the very least pay you off. Here is our friend who is a single mom raising two kids while her deadbeat husband goes off with this poor little rich girl who is now pregnant and featuring the two of them in a reality series. There is no thought at all to the pain she is cueing others, especially these two young children. She needs to pay the wife and kids their living expenses. Their mother, who is an actress in her own right but not as famous because she is Canadian is now deeply depressed and finding it hard to work. Little Miss L.A. Nepotism needs to pay for that.

What kind of Christmas does this rich actress thing the three of them (his real family) had without their Dad on the scene? What is even worse is that on her reality television we all have to look at this two faced man stealer with her swollen breasts and pregnant stomach. What a cow!


Lying to Yourself About Infidelity

I was thinking again today about the biggest lies that people tell themselves so that it is okay to cheat. This is coming to mind because one of my good friends who just got married three months ago is already dealing with a cheating spouse.

I guess that most people who cheat think they can stop after just cheating once. The problem is that cheating is like eating potato chips. It is hard to stop at just one experience. Still most people don’t realize that the endorphins raised at the prospect of illicit sex are similar to the ones produced in the brain that are like heroin.

Some people think it is okay to cheat if they are nicer to the person they are betraying at home. They will buy them jewelry and all kinds of things. In fact that is how my friend found out her new husband was cheating. He kept buying her all kinds of stuff including jewels and that kitchen appliance she always wanted. He wasn’t that doting before they got married so she go suspicious.

Some people apparently are quite nihilistic about fidelity in general. They figure everybody cheats and that it is only a matter of time before their partner cheats on them so they do it first.

Some people are also not accountable for their actions and simply think that they are not making a choice when they are cheating. To them it is not a decision. Instead they figure that fate did it.

Another thing that cheaters tell themselves is that nobody will be angry with them because everyone has a little moment of human weakness. They diminish the moral responsibility to their partner by thinking in their minds that everybody does it.

An older cheater may use the excuse of a mid life crisis. Some people feel that they need to sow more wild oats. Usually this really means they are bored with their current relationship.

Cheating makes some people feel dangerous or sexy. It makes them feel like they are a big celebrity like Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn It makes them feel glamorous and in control. Of course they are really out of control and hurting others instead.

A lot of people think that they can keep an affair a secret. Half of the time it backfires as emotional tensions build and one partner or the other confesses to someone who is not supposed to know. Thinking it is okay because it will be kept a secret is always a big mistake. Spouses almost always have a way of just knowing. My friend had a hunch for ages that her husband was cheating. She even suspected with whom. Even though she had no proof of the situation until recently everyone thought she was jealous and crazy!