The Name Caller

Okay I have been having more fun than usual going out with my girlfriends. We’ve been taking trips down to Miami and drinking. I’ve checked out some of the nicer hotels and clubs.

The problem was the other night we kind of got asked to leave a big Miami establishment that was a little bit too classy for us. It seems that my girlfriend had one too many Singapore Slings and decided to insult the bartender. Big mistake. We got bounced right out of there like a rubber ball.

Outside we ran into a guy who seems to have also been thrown out of the club. That should have been my first clue that he was a bit of jerk. But he was just so good looking. I also thought he might be kind of okay because it turns out that my girlfriend who got us thrown out of the club in the first place went to school with him.

We all went out for coffee and something to eat – because we had been slinging back slings and cosmopolitans since four p.m. and then when it was time to leave I grabbed him by the arm and said, “Don’t go. I haven’t had my way with you yet.

That got his attention so we exchanged telephone numbers.

After waiting the obligatory few days that men wait before they call you he called and I agreed to meet him at this really great Miami hotel restaurant that has great food. Then El Cheapo took me across the street to the nastiest, cheapest Italian restaurant you have ever seen. I swear they poured a can of tomato soup on pasta and called it pasta. The wine we had tasted like it could peel the finish of off a wood table.

During the dinner he just kept telling me how he hadn’t been able to get a job in four years and what a bitch his last girlfriend was. This is a real turn off for me so I decided not to go out with him again.

When he called to arrange a new date, I told him I wasn’t interested. He then called me a name and demanded an explanation. I hung up on him.

What ensued was unbelievable. He called again to tell me what he thought of me. He called every fifteen minutes to tell me what he thought of me. It started off not too bad with names like shallow, snobby and ignorant and progressed to whore, slut and cocktease.

When he called to demand back the money he paid for the meal at three in the morning I decided to call the police.

The police then gave him a visit and had a little talk with him. It’s been about a week and I haven’t heard from him again.

Moral of the story: Never go out with someone you meet after you have been thrown out of a bar.