Stop Saying You Are Fat

Ladies you are lying through your teeth all over the dating sites on the Internet again. Studies and first person anecdotes all over the web are saying that tons of women are claiming to be skinny when they are building like brick you know what houses. You are putting up pictures of yourself where you look really thin or even worse really old picots.

Many males say they feel like they are typical or shallow but they are sick of being fooled by women who say they are thin when really they are not. In fact misrepresenting your weight and body type has become a real art for some women. Why you would want to do this to them is a mystery to the men who do not appreciate the distortion of the facts especially when they are repulsed completely by big flabby women. They end up having to suffer through a date with you to be polite (and some do not even bother to do that.)

The problem seems to be with the automatic fill in fields in which you might be required to check a box that identifies your body type. All of these women represent themselves as “average” in size when really they are plus size. Some men go out on date after successive date with women who have said they are small framed or thin and have things hanging, bulging and drooping every where. Here’s a clue – if you have pouches of fat hanging over your kneecaps you are not “average.”

A male friend of mine was complaining about how some women were identifying average lately and I suggested to him that maybe there are a lot of women out there now that that thing 5 foot 4 at eighty pounds is the new average. Many men think about 5’7 and 130 pounds should be the average but this does not reflect how large American women have become in the past ten years.

Conversely women have the same problem only it is usually a man that lists their age as 25 when they are clearly in their mid thirties. Sometimes is really bad. You can see a chicken wattle beneath the man’s neck in his picture on his profile as he stands there wearing his white shoes next to his red corvette.

You know if you are a really fat woman there are many sites online that specialize in matching up plus size women with the men that adore them. Mostly these men are from Asian and Eastern cultures where a heavier woman is more adored. However this will spare you all the trouble of becoming emotionally upset when the man that thinks you are too fat rejects you.


The Name Caller

Okay I have been having more fun than usual going out with my girlfriends. We’ve been taking trips down to Miami and drinking. I’ve checked out some of the nicer hotels and clubs.

The problem was the other night we kind of got asked to leave a big Miami establishment that was a little bit too classy for us. It seems that my girlfriend had one too many Singapore Slings and decided to insult the bartender. Big mistake. We got bounced right out of there like a rubber ball.

Outside we ran into a guy who seems to have also been thrown out of the club. That should have been my first clue that he was a bit of jerk. But he was just so good looking. I also thought he might be kind of okay because it turns out that my girlfriend who got us thrown out of the club in the first place went to school with him.

We all went out for coffee and something to eat – because we had been slinging back slings and cosmopolitans since four p.m. and then when it was time to leave I grabbed him by the arm and said, “Don’t go. I haven’t had my way with you yet.

That got his attention so we exchanged telephone numbers.

After waiting the obligatory few days that men wait before they call you he called and I agreed to meet him at this really great Miami hotel restaurant that has great food. Then El Cheapo took me across the street to the nastiest, cheapest Italian restaurant you have ever seen. I swear they poured a can of tomato soup on pasta and called it pasta. The wine we had tasted like it could peel the finish of off a wood table.

During the dinner he just kept telling me how he hadn’t been able to get a job in four years and what a bitch his last girlfriend was. This is a real turn off for me so I decided not to go out with him again.

When he called to arrange a new date, I told him I wasn’t interested. He then called me a name and demanded an explanation. I hung up on him.

What ensued was unbelievable. He called again to tell me what he thought of me. He called every fifteen minutes to tell me what he thought of me. It started off not too bad with names like shallow, snobby and ignorant and progressed to whore, slut and cocktease.

When he called to demand back the money he paid for the meal at three in the morning I decided to call the police.

The police then gave him a visit and had a little talk with him. It’s been about a week and I haven’t heard from him again.

Moral of the story: Never go out with someone you meet after you have been thrown out of a bar.