Dealing With Unhealthy Anger

No wonder women are afraid to say no. I just dealt with another guy on the Internet who decided to blow up at me because I made the adult choice of not wanting to continue to meet him in person anymore.

Guys (and girls too) the dating world is full of rejection. Here are some keys as to how to deal with all of the rejection – It is your responsibility to handle your anger no matter how unjust the world is being to you. Even a moderate amount of expressed anger is thought to be immature and uncivilized in our society no matter how great the frustration, threat or violation that triggered it. Being calm, in control and turning the other cheek is considered to be most socially acceptable. It is also considered by many to be the right thing to do spiritually.

Unfortunately the consequence of this is usually outbursts of suppressed anger that often takes the form of violent behavior or misdirected anger. This anger that is constantly suppressed by social mores and other conditions leads to persistent negative thoughts, nightmares and even physical conditions like ulcers, headaches and high blood pressure.

Not only is managing your anger essential to maintaining your physical health it is also crucial to your mental health. Bottled up anger can be the battery that keeps a clinical depression ticking for decades. It can be the impulse behind suicide or even passive forms of suicide such as cigarette smoking, eating badly and neglecting health care.

A long-term sustenance of anger can also set up a vicious cycle of anger feeding self-hatred and feeding more anger. Anger turned inward is very self-destructive and often leads to depression. In fact one of the most common definitions of depression is “anger turned inwards.”

There are a lot of vile social consequences to living your life as a chronically angry person. Angry people tend to grow up believing that if they are hurt or abused, there are merely two options available, which are self-blame and denial of blame. This of course leads to distorted thinking and judgments.

Angry people have one major thing in common. Their personal relationships are often unhappy and seem naturally unlucky. They spend a lot of time cursing others and then are surprised when those curses come home to roost.

Another dangerous side effect of anger is that it can fuel obsessions, phobias and addictions. Obsessions and phobias arise from situations when, for some reason or another, we feel we are either losing control of ourselves or the world around us.

People can also be physically addicted to the adrenalin and brain chemicals that are produced by living in a state of anger. They will actually seek out something to get angry about so they can experience the “high” that they get from being angry. It becomes a power trip with a feeling of elation as a payoff.

As a result of their unhealthy anger, this type of depressed person may not get promotions, social invitations or the opportunity to engage in love.