Online Rules Redux

November 12, 2007

I know I was promising to come up with a definitive set of rules when it comes to dating online and finally here it is …

The first rule is NO PROFILE, NO DATING. If there is a big question mark or line drawing of a person where the profile photo should be then there is something wrong with the guy. Either he is hideously deformed or ugly or he does not want his mother, girlfriend, wife or kids to catch him trying to have an infidelity online. You should also beware if there is nothing written in the profile. Even if the profile consists of all jokes or lays it still tells you something about him.

The second rule is NO MARRIED MEN. If a man tells you he is about to be divorced don’t believe him. Half the time this is not true especially if he tells you he also has children. Also never fall for the line that he is not sleeping with his wife even though he is still living with her. If they are under the same roof he is not emotionally available. Ask him when the ink on his divorce papers will be dry.

NO TEENAGERS. Sometimes I think I should revise that to NO TWENTY SOMETHINGS even though I am in my twenties myself. Men my age tend to be so insecure and immature. I find if you are looking for sex or fun they are fine. But if you are looking for a committed relationship – NEVER TRUST ANYONE UNDER THIRTY. The men I have found that are most interested in settling down or who will treat you right on a date are at least thirty five.

NO LONG DISTANCE ROMANCES. God knows who is at the other end. I know my luck has not been that fantastic dating locally when you date long distance things are even riskier. Someone who you never see that often could lay his or her pants off about being married, having a girlfriend or whatever and you would never be the wiser.

MEET IN PUBLIC DURING THE DAY. Don’t make that first date a romantic one. Meet in public during the day instead and make sure it is a Dutch treat so the guy won’t feel that you “owe” him anything. Of course in theory you should never owe anyone sex just for buying you a coffee but there are men out there that thing like that. If there is chemistry then you can arrange a formal date later. This might not seem that romantic but you need to be this practical when you are looking for love online or you could make a big mistake or even put your life in danger.

Right now I am considering trying to meet more men offline, as I am not having that much success on the Internet. I have no problem getting dates but they often with very strange men.

 

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Good Samaritan Gone Bad

November 9, 2007

I just had a really disappointing experience with a Good Samaritan who wanted to pay for his good deed with sex. Ugh.

I was driving home from an All Saints Eve Party where we had to dress like Tarts and Vicars like on Bridget Jones. I was dressed in fishnets, a white wig and a red dress. I wasn’t drunk, just kind of chill (if you know what I mean.) The next thing I know I lose the front left tire off of my car and it goes spinning off into the ditch. After getting it together to realize that it was my tire I was seeing spinning beside me on the road and that the sparks I see is the casing of my car scraping the pavement I slam on the brakes. I am in the middle of nowhere with Florida swamp on both sides and my car is also sitting in the middle of the road.

Not to be daunted I immediately got my cell phone out of my purse and proceeded to call for help. Battery dead. I don’t usually cry but all I could was sit there and bawl.

Then through my tears I saw this man rolling my tire up the hill. He was nice looking in his late forties and he had white hair instead of a white horse but he was Prince Charming to me in that minute that is for sure.

The first thing I asked him was whether or not he had a phone and he claimed not to. He did say though that he could give me a lift back to town and that his car was parked just over the hill. He had pulled over to the side when he saw my tire rolling down the hill at his vehicle.

We strolled down the hill to his car and the minute I got in I regretted it. All the guy did was paw me. He put his hand on my knee the minute the key was in the ignition. The whole time I was fighting him off and saying know. He was grabbing for breasts, crotch anything he could get. At one point he did get hold of one of my breasts and I slapped him. He stopped the car and ordered me out.

Believe it or not this Good Samaritan would not help me unless I had sex with him. After walking along the highway myself a few miles he did come back twice, slowly driving the car beside me as if hoping I would change my mind. All he did was really creep me out. However what creped me out even further was watching him pick up a cell phone and talk on it. It turned out he had a cell phone the entire time.

It took me about forty minutes to walk to the nearest gas station where the real good Samaritan, the attendant, helped me call a tow truck.

 

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Have A Good Cry While Exercising

November 3, 2007

I don’t know about you but sometimes I have really bad days and have no way of letting out my feelings. Most of my bad feelings center around men and the way they have disappointed me. I have some real resentments when it comes to the way some of them have treated me. I also have remorse when it comes to not respecting myself more when it comes to men. I feel guilty and ashamed that I have not treated myself better. Then when the reality kicks in that I did the best that I could with the only kind of man that was available at the time the grief really kicks in.

The problem is that this stuff builds up inside me like a pressure cooker whose lid is never taken off. This is not a good state to be in. A girl needs a good cry every now and then to stay healthy. This is also because it is unseemly for a woman to show anger in society. One of the ways we show anger is to bawl our heads of.

I used to watch sad movies to try and have a catharsis so I could cry. Listening to music like the Cranberries can also trigger a needed emotional release. However I was intrigued to read that exercise can do it too.

According to a piece called Moved to Tears written by MSNBC columnist Jacqueline Stenson exercise can cause you to cry. This is because certain body movements can help release dammed up feelings and emotions. It is apparently quite common for instructors to see exercisers releasing pent up emotions during Pilates, Yoga or other types of classes. I have actually seen this. The girl doing the downward dog who suddenly starts sobbing. The woman doing Aquafit with tears slipping out of her eyelids.

The theory is that the body tends to hold on to feelings long after the mind has let them go. The motion of exercise has a way of triggering the connection between the mind and body so that these feelings can be felt again. This is because when we are in the grip of our emotions we sometimes don’t feel our emotions. Doing yoga or hard exercise makes us feel our bodies again.

Some people cry during the quieter disciplines such as Yoga as it is the only time during the day when they are able to slow down, breathe and identify how they really feel. It can be triggered by fast exercise as well. I get emotional when I ride my bike sometimes. I also know that the road rage I feel at cars and stupid pedestrians while I am on my bike is also caused by pent up emotions.

Of course this theory is not unfamiliar to Chinese doctors who have been identifying energy blocks caused by negative feelings for years and who have been using needles to remove them.

 

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Weight Loss Magic Pill?

October 31, 2007

You might wonder why I am so interested in a weight loss drug without side effects. Well it is not for me because I am naturally kind of skinny. I have been hoping that this kind of magic pill would be invented for ages for my overweight friends. They need a pill bad because the only thing that works for them when it comes to losing weight is smoking about a pack and a half of cigarettes a day. Unfortunately when any of them stop smoking they always gain back twenty pounds and it is truly horrific for them. That twenty pounds can mean the difference between getting a job or not, or a date or not and a lot more. I don’t care what everybody says about Jennifer Lopez’s big butt legitimizing the plus size girl and all that. Everywhere I look “thin is in.”

The problem with previous weight loss drugs is that they have all had serious side effects. You could become very nervous, ruin your intestines or drop dead from a heart attack. Seizures were a risk if you took ephedrine. You could die from dehydration drinking some of those so-called Chinese diet teas. Many prescription weight loss drugs on the market can also cause something called anal leakage (I don’t want to go there.) Taking these drugs is has made obese individuals even sicker and putting them at even greater risk of developing diseases like cancer and heart disease.

So I was kind of happy to read this article in Medical News Today, by Dr. Nir Barak of the Tel Aviv University School of Medicine. He has a team that has developed a drug called Histalean, which is based on a previous drug called Betahistamine. Betahistamine is traditionally used to treat vertigo but it is found that it chemically contains compounds that can help block cravings (the same way the drug blocks the sensation of dizziness.) The result is that there is a great potential for weight loss and hundreds of lives could be saved everywhere.

This new medication could also allow fat people who could never exercise before to get an initial boosting work out so that they feel encouraged to work out or stick to a diet plan. Even if people were on it for a short time they could be greatly encouraged by an initial large loss. Unfortunately after many young women quit smoking they blow right up and then fall into a deep depression when they can’t see immediate results from exercising and dieting. Losing two pounds a week can be a slow and unrewarding process for many!

I actually think its main benefit could be to get millions of women off of the cancer sticks. I think the cigarette industry is more than aware of the weight loss attributes of smoking cigarettes and that is why they are marketed to so many young women.

 

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