Hard Wired Instincts

You have probably heard again and again how men have hard wired instincts, how they are like alpha dogs and they only want one thing – sex!

Men don’t know it but women’s self help books on attraction, dating and hooking a man are filled with descriptions of us as being helpless victims of our instincts. Men’s hard-wired instincts are more famous. Every woman knows they have to be trained and disciplined like dogs or else we will attempt to have sex with anything that moves. It might be true but you don’t have to let yourself be manipulated because of it. If a man had his way he would have sex with as many women as without having to marry a single one of them.

Oh I am sure that when some find the right woman he will marry her but that opportunity doesn’t seem to naturally present it self that often. In the meantime many men are quite happy to play the field and date as many women as often as they want and as often as they please. As a woman I am not going to argue too much with this even though I hate it because what can I do about it? Men act like dogs and it is futile for me to fight that.

So how are some men able to do this even though they are uglier than sin? How are some of these men able to convince hundreds of women that I am the best thing since James Bond with a martini in a hot tub?

It is important to realize that women have hardwired instincts too – urges that they can’t seem to help. One of them is that woman want what other women want. Notice how no woman wants a guy that is not already somehow “taken.” This is the woman’s hard-wired instinct at work.

There is some really hard research to back up this theory. Long ago when we were cave people many women simply died in childbirth. Wild beasts while on the hunt would also eat males. The only way to keep mankind thriving was for a male to have multiple partners.

Have you ever wondered why the woman who has an unfaithful partner just seems to want him more and more? Watch women who have been dumped by men – they will obsess over just one guy and even ignore perfectly nice guys who approach them while savoring the memory of this one jerk who has betrayed them again and again.

So why do women do this? Why do they love the bastard and treat the nice guy like a piece of gum on the bottom of their stiletto shoe.

It is because women are hard wired to see the unfaithful male as the strongest male in the human herd. Sad but true. Just keeping this one principle in mind – woman want what other woman — can go a long way towards helping you feed the most God awful of men the delusion that you are the greatest thing since George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Antonio Banderas all rolled up into one.

 

The Control Freak Guy

I recently went out to a party with this good friend of mind and I met this guy who suggested that we go somewhere where we could be alone to talk. I agreed and said goodbye to my friend. We went to an all night coffee shop where he did the

weirdest things.

First of all he ordered a coffee for me without even asking me if I wanted a

coffee. Actually, I don’t like to drink coffee after midnight and also I was a little bit hungry. Then the rest of the night he did nothing but talk about himself Ð about his ambitions to be a race car driver, about how he has psychic powers and also, unbelievably about how he found the waitress to be kind of attractive. Still, he charmed me, even though the littlest things he was

Doing were getting on my nerves. For instance I hated the way he kept he always rushed a few paces ahead when he was walking with me, like he didn’t really want to be seen with me when we set out for a stroll after the coffee.

All evening, he never ever asked me even one single question about myself. Still for some strange reason I found that attractive. I gave him my number and he hasn’t called. I know he is selfish, a narcissist and everything else and that our time together was more like kidnapping then a real date of any kind but I like him.

The thing that is maddening to me is that I know deep inside that if he wanted a date he should of asked fro my phone numbers or made arrangements to see me at another time.

So why do I want to see this person that lives so much in a world of fantasy? It seems like I want to be taken away from reality with him. It would be nice to be taken away from the reality of always being me even if it is for a few hours.

Even the fact that he has a wandering eye is not bothering me because it shows me he has some passion. The last few men I was in bed with showed no passion at all.

So do I phone him? All of my girlfriends say no. For one thing I will establish that he is the more powerful one by phoning him first. Also I am terrified that a woman will answer the phone. I would be devastated. When it comes to these narcissists or womanizing types I should use common sense and leave him alone. Funny how we tend to be attracted most to people who are attracted to them even if they are big jerks!

 

Speed Dating Games

Can you really meet the man or women of your dreams after just a few minutes of casual chit-chat? That’s the premise behind speed dating.

The best way to describe speed dating is as a cross between a job interview, a blind date and a game of musical chairs. Participants get three to eight minutes, depending on where you are playing the game and to meet scores of different potential partners. With speed dating you can meet as many as twenty-five people (in one session.

The idea get to meet a number of strangers within the safety of a friendly and merry environment that is policed by the organizers. At the end of the night you can ask a partner for a date, but a date only takes place if the other person is agreed.

You are advised to turn down speed dating events that are too publicly advertised or take place in a bar that is known for its wild antics. Often, with this type of heavily promoted speed dating venture, you run the risk of having an audience gawk at you while you meet potential partners.

Always check out the venue before you attend an event to make sure that you are not part of a public spectacle. Speed dating that is held at a church or community venue is probably your safest bet when it comes to privacy, tact and anonymity.

Speed dating probably best suits busy careerists who would benefit from meeting as many people as they can within a short period of time. Speed dating suits health professionals and individuals who work off-hours, such as waitresses, shift-workers, and health professionals. It’s good for those who always find themselves working the traditional date nights such as Friday and Saturday night.

Speed dating also benefits those who are looking for a more serious relationship, as it is understood that these functions are for individuals who are looking for a long-term connection. If you are sick of the immaturity or addictions that come hand-in-hand with people you meet in bars and clubs then this might be a more efficient way to meet someone who is not intent on wasting your time with their emotional problems.

I am not so sure this mating sport is for me. It is a bit stiff. Still it sounds fun and like a great way to save time. The problem with blind dates and personals is that they do not satisfy a very crucial requirement needed in order for two people to hit it off and see each other again: physical attraction and chemistry. Speed dating allows you to meet in person and see if the two of you actually click. You are not required to waste the time that you would meeting someone on a blind date. On a blind date, many squander hours of time being courteous to an individual they would rather just get away from.

 

Online Rules Redux

I know I was promising to come up with a definitive set of rules when it comes to dating online and finally here it is …

The first rule is NO PROFILE, NO DATING. If there is a big question mark or line drawing of a person where the profile photo should be then there is something wrong with the guy. Either he is hideously deformed or ugly or he does not want his mother, girlfriend, wife or kids to catch him trying to have an infidelity online. You should also beware if there is nothing written in the profile. Even if the profile consists of all jokes or lays it still tells you something about him.

The second rule is NO MARRIED MEN. If a man tells you he is about to be divorced don’t believe him. Half the time this is not true especially if he tells you he also has children. Also never fall for the line that he is not sleeping with his wife even though he is still living with her. If they are under the same roof he is not emotionally available. Ask him when the ink on his divorce papers will be dry.

NO TEENAGERS. Sometimes I think I should revise that to NO TWENTY SOMETHINGS even though I am in my twenties myself. Men my age tend to be so insecure and immature. I find if you are looking for sex or fun they are fine. But if you are looking for a committed relationship – NEVER TRUST ANYONE UNDER THIRTY. The men I have found that are most interested in settling down or who will treat you right on a date are at least thirty five.

NO LONG DISTANCE ROMANCES. God knows who is at the other end. I know my luck has not been that fantastic dating locally when you date long distance things are even riskier. Someone who you never see that often could lay his or her pants off about being married, having a girlfriend or whatever and you would never be the wiser.

MEET IN PUBLIC DURING THE DAY. Don’t make that first date a romantic one. Meet in public during the day instead and make sure it is a Dutch treat so the guy won’t feel that you “owe” him anything. Of course in theory you should never owe anyone sex just for buying you a coffee but there are men out there that thing like that. If there is chemistry then you can arrange a formal date later. This might not seem that romantic but you need to be this practical when you are looking for love online or you could make a big mistake or even put your life in danger.

Right now I am considering trying to meet more men offline, as I am not having that much success on the Internet. I have no problem getting dates but they often with very strange men.