Gay or Broke?

October 28, 2007

Okay this is ridiculous but yet another man saddled me with the bill for the dinner last night. This guy was gorgeous. He looked just as I remembered when I first met him in the department store in the woman’s glove department. We both had a fetish for white kid gloves with little pearl buttons. Cliché I know and at first I thought he was gay. I actually asked him whether or not to find out if he was and he said no. Of course after what I am about to tell you, you might think differently.

We went to a fabulous little restaurant on the beach. He picked me up in his silver sports car, which he said he had just paid off. Now I am wondering if he borrowed it. I was a little wielded out by the Liza Minnelli tape playing in the car on our breezy drive along the cause way. Still who is to think that gay men don’t like Liza Minnelli?

For most of the evening he acted just like Prince Charming. He made eyes at me, laughed at my stories and even touched my hand across the table. He spent a lot of time telling me all about his acting career and how well it was going. At one point he did say something about my shoes being the wrong color. He also made a comment about my hair color. I thought it was a little Queer Eye for the Gay Guy.

The dinner was superb. We had a super expensive bottle of wine, appetizers, main course, and even though I could not eat another bite, we ordered dessert. My girlfriend Sarah text messaged me to see if it was going well and I enthusiastically tested her back to say it was going great and there was no need to create a fake emergency or come stake out the restaurant.

After we shared two or three after dinner liquors and some chocolate volcano cake the waiter finally brought the bill. It turned out to be well over $200 for the wine and everything. My prince charming turns and looks at me and says, “Let’s go Dutch.”

I look at him really dubiously and he keeps looking at me back as if to say “What?” I then tell him that I thought this was a date. He then tells me that he was sorry he misunderstood and that he only has one hundred on him and that he has to go to the bank machine and that he will be back.

So he gets up and leaves. Guess what? He never comes back. I sit there for well over an hour waiting for him to return and he never does. I end up paying the check.

So I have only two conclusions about this. He was a gay guy looking for a free meal or he just really didn’t have the money to pay the bill and ducked out. Gay or broke – what do you think? Maybe it was both!

 

Dating Journal
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My Complicated Lover

September 15, 2007

Okay so I broke down and went online and posted a personal ad in a public online forum. Right away I got a response from Ted. He made me laugh so I replied. For the last ten days we have been exchanging some pretty witty and romantic emails.

He was literate, intelligent and is completing a Ph.D in psychology. I just thought I was dealing with a really nice man.

As we only live a couple of minutes from each other we began exchanging emails and agreed to meet. Of course before I agreed to meet him I checked up on his status. He assured me that he was totally single and just had some “aunties” that he checked in with now and then.

He tells me to meet him at a lobster palace by the ocean. I get there early and darn it if he doesn’t show. It is cold, raining and the place smells like wet sand and dead fish. I get fed up and leave. However first I text him and tell him I am going into town and that if he wants he can meet me in a hotel lounge bar where I am much more comfortable.

Just as I arrive at the hotel lounge he tells me that he has arrived at the seafood palace and that he is there with a bunch of friends. Haplessly he tells me that he can’t just leave his friends and that he will link up with me as soon as he can. Every half hour or so he would message me from the seafood place to tell me he was on his way. Fortunately for me I met up with some friends at the hotel bar so I did not have to be too bored.

He finally shows up at one in the morning and at first I am furious. But then I saw how good looking and kind he is in person and I just melt. We spent all night cozier up in a corner of the lounge talking and then we go to my place, make love and spend all night in each other’s arms talking some more. The next morning he even made me breakfast. I thought I was falling in love.

The next day I was really happy. We corresponded by email all week long and then on Friday when he had not made firm plans to see me again I made up a business excuse so I could go to his neighborhood. I asked if I could stay with him and repeat our romantic interlude from the previous weekend. Keep in mind here that I am not a gullible woman and that he did a pretty fine job of pretending to be interested in me.

When I ask him if I can stay with him he tells me that there are complications. When I ask what kind of complications it turns out that one of his “aunties” is staying with him. When I ask why that is a bad thing he tells me that the “auntie” is actually his ex girlfriend that he still goes out with.

Of course I had to drop him and it wasn’t easy. Now I am more than a little sad!

 

Dating Journal
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Sweet Talkers Online

August 18, 2007

Probably the most dangerous kind of relationship is the Sweet Talker that you meet online. My friend Karin just had a terrible experience with one of these. He promised her the moon and the stars and then just disappeared.

When Karin first met this guy online she thought he was everything that she would ever want in a man. The main thing she liked about him is that he encouraged her to open up to her. With him she felt comfortable enough to talk about her past. It turns out that during all of these candid confessional sessions about her past that he was just information gathering. At least that is my theory. I think he was garnering the info he needed to manipulate her so he could get off on hurting her later.

I watched this relationship progress and I have even sat beside Karin on the computer and related to him while he joked with her, showed concern and made all kinds of promises to make her happy. His main promise was to not break her heart the way all of the others did. He promised not to be like all of the rest.

Karin talked to Alexander (that was his name) every day for almost three months. He was her touchstone, her reason for living and the person that gave her a reason to wake up in the morning. Then one day when she yahooed him – he just didn’t respond.

At first we thought it was a technical glitch but this silence went on and on. After about eight days she gave in and called his home long distance. All she kept getting was the answering machine. Then about a week later she found out that he had removed her from his Yahoo list and blocked her name.

In a panic Karin got on a plane and went to his home. She was convinced that she had to find out what exactly it was that she did to make him change his mind about her so fast. She took all of the responsibility for how he was treating her and blamed herself.

When she arrived at his apartment she rang and rang his bell until he answered the door. He wouldn’t even let her in. He had no explanation. He had no reason for his behavior. He just told her to go away. He tells her to leave her alone and that it is over.

All I have to say after this is watch out for the Sweet Talkers. They could be setting you up for a big fall. My friend Karin can’t believe what happened. One minute he was talking about having marriage and kids with her and the next he was going “to what do I owe the pleasure of your acquaintance.” Even worse she spent a big whack of money trying to find out what was wrong only to be treated like a common stalker. She has been going around for days with a broken heart. She is also deeply embarrassed because by default, this Sweet Talker has made her into liar. How could someone who seemed to be so great, turn out to be such a creep? So be careful of that sweet talker online.

 

Dating Journal
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The Violent Vegetarian

August 15, 2007

After this last date I am starting to wonder about this syndrome I keep encountering called the Violent Vegetarian. One would think that if a man was a vegetarian that he might be a pacifist or some kind of nice guy right? Not so.

I kind of got attracted to this person online because he seemed very knowledgeable about spiritual matters and also seemed to be very concerned with world issues. He was against all wars, pollution and even though he seemed quite political that last thing I would think is that he would be violent.

When we met online I did make it clear to him that I ate meat. He did seem a little put out and was making the occasional snide comment such as “You eat things that have a face?” but I didn’t take it seriously. I just figure you should not hold what a person eats against them and take it personally any more then you should hold a person’s skin color or anything else against them as well.

Anyhow this vegetarian had an opinion about everything including whether or not a woman should shave her legs, if O.J. was innocent, you name it. After debating the finer point of whether or not Dobermans are a violent dog or not I agreed to have a date with him.

I emailed him and told me to meet me at a Starbucks that has a near the beach. I got their first and was already sipping my latte when he showed up and sat down. He looked pleased to see me but at the same time he looked really upset. He just sat down, crossed his arms and stared at me. When I asked him whether or not he was going to get himself a cup of coffee at the self serve counter he just snapped at me and said “No!” When I asked why he said he would rather have nothing then drink coffee of a place that was so exploitive of the third world and that put so many genuine mom and pop cafes out of business.

Right at that point in time someone on the patio decided to light up a cigarette, which then cajoled him to put on a fit of exaggerated coughing. He was also stating insulting things in a loud voice such as “I bet you wear fur too.” And “I don’t want lung cancer thank you very much.”

He was then distracted from the smoker by the sight of a man riding his bicycle on the sidewalk instead of the road. “There’s nothing worse than a grown man riding his bicycle on the sidewalk” he exclaimed as he jumped up and then proceeded to run after the man who was riding on the sidewalk. He then pulled the guy off of his bike and scuffle ensued…

Wasn’t Hitler a vegetarian? Giving the crowd around me that “I’m not with him..” look I took this as my cue to leave.

 

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