Making That Decision

May 8, 2008

Whether it’s something small like what shirt to buy or something big like what job to accept or whether or not to buy an expensive dress, does your internal dialogue sound something like this?

“Hmm, okay, which one will get me more en?”

If it does, then you’re going down a very dangerous road. Even if you have some success with this approach, you’ll be a slave to it for the rest of your life. You’re coming from a place of scarcity and your life is revolving around it.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…which is probably inconsistent success with men…at best!

Here’s how I make my decisions:

When I’m looking at new clothes, my decision to buy a particular item is NOT based on how much MORE I will get laid or how men might DIG it or how it might make a great conversation starter. I make the decision based on whether I LIKE it…period.

When I’m looking at a new car (my decision to buy is NOT based on whether men will think I’m doing well financially and want to sleep with me. I make the decision based on whether I LIKE it.

When I’m at a club, my decision to buy a lot of booze is NOT based on how many men I can lure over with free drinks, get drunk and trick I him to getting physical with me. I make the decision based on having a place to hang out and having drinks at my fingertips.

I think you get the idea.

Short of taking a shower, using deodorant and mouthwash, no decision you make should be based on whether the correct one will get men to like you MORE.

What I’m saying is that the next time you have a decision to make, it should be made based on how it’s going to please you as a person that likes herself or even himself is the most attractive to the opposite sex.

 

Dating Journal

He’s Not Ready For the Altar

April 22, 2008

I have a friend name Richard who is single and just wants to take it slow and get to know a person well before he has sex with them or considered marriage. Lately he tells me he is really overwhelmed by all the women he meets that want to have sex right away.

Richard has been doing the online dating thing for many months and he is trying to be cautious. He usually just asks them out for coffee or to hang out with him and his buddies and play pool. According to him that low key and friendly approach is having women perceive him as a family man. It might be because he is not that hot about having sex right away.

Women who get too close too soon and do things like mentally outfit them for the baby carrier and the wedding tux turn off men. Richard says this gets so bad that women try to drag him into domestic supply stores like Babies R US, Ikea and the Pottery Barn to see if he is husband material. He has also been taken into department stores where he has been subtly directed into the wedding gown sections (where one girl actually made him try to pick out bridesmaid dresses with him) and past the jeweler counter where the engagement rings are kept.

Richard’s message to women nowadays would be to “Relax Ladies. It’s called DATING. A man will let you know if he wants to marry you. He goes, buys a ring, gets down on his knees (well sometimes), asks you and then puts a ring on your finger. Before that day happens we are not to assume anything (according to Richard.)

It is not something that you can convince a guy to do no matter how rich your daddy is. Richard really made me laugh with some of his comments especially when he started singing – “You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait.” He is also quite fond of walking around spouting that fresher cliché “What is wrong with you. He is just not that into you!”

Richard is also sick of seeing dating profiles that are way too predictable online. They all look like they have been scooped out of the same Dating for Dummies book. He said that he is sick of reading about how a woman loves long walks, swimming and going to the movies. He is also sick of the “I can go from hiking boots to high heels in a flash” or “I am as comfortable in velvet as I am in denim.” He is also sick of women writing how they like to play pool with the boys only to find out that they can’t play at all. Still, I did point out that when the woman can’t play it gives him an ideal opportunity to put his arm around her.

So is Richard looking for a marriage partner? Yes he is he just has not found the right girl online yet.

 

Dating Journal
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The Dentist Who Is A Sex Addict

March 11, 2008

What is it with dentists? Why are they all sex addicts? I have gone out with two dentists so far and had the most toxic experience with each.

The first one was this guy named Paul, who was an implantologist from Toronto with a thriving practice. He was quite a bit older than me and I knew he had kids but he told me he was divorced.

Phil and I go out to art openings and have fancy dinners and we have sex every which way is possible. Then after three weeks of I love you and passionate love making he just stops calling.

After a few civilized and then frantic calls to his office I then end up calling him at home. Instead of a call back I get an email saying that I had made too much of everything and that he was happy with his wife. This sent me into a depression for weeks on end. I probably never cried so much over a man as I did with this dentist Paul who I considered to be the love of my life.

I probably shouldn’t have opted to see yet another dentist but I was just so lonely. I had even been warned this one is a sex addict but I still did not control my impulses. He was also good looking, handsome and very rich. He was my second implantoligist and his name was Mark.

This guy also had a practice in Toronto and a woman who was his ex wife and secretary. He also had two girls from Somalia there that working as his assistants and he said that they were his daughters.

So what happens? After weeks of bliss and even a trip to Dubai for him to find better-heeled patients from the Arab World he invites me back to his house, which is supposed to be his own personal Shangri-la. They’re lying naked and making out with each other among the velvet cushions and Koi pond complete with splashing waterfalls are his ex wife and his two supposed daughters. He then told me that they were adopted and that is why he is allowed to have sex with them.

I got out of there but my reward was a punishing and brutal silence. I did not get an explanation, apology or even a begging to try it again.

In retrospect I realize that both of these dentists were real sex addicts. In fact I found out recently that foursome reason it is quite common in that profession. Apparently having lots of sex helps them boost their confidence and arrogance so they can get their jobs all day. It also helps them relieve all of the depression and tension that is apparently the result of looking inside someone’s mouth all day. In fact if you have a dentist sex addict story of some kind I would really like to hear about it.

 

Dating Journal
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Is It Water Loss or Weight Loss?

January 24, 2008

It’s January so it is time to be concerned about weight loss because you have to look all slim and beautiful for that date. The thing is most of the products sold online is that they do not help you lose fat. They only cause you to lose water. The loss is temporary and doesn’t include any fat. Diuretics can promote dangerous dehydration and cardiac problems. As soon as the body is dehydrated, the weight returns. Meaningful weight loss requires loss of body fat not water.

One sure way to tell that you are dealing with a weight loss product that is a diuretic is if it makes outrageous promises, such as “Lose Ten Pounds a Week” or “Lose Ten Pounds in Three Days.” This is only possible if you are going to lose water weight.

You can also figure out what products are diuretics by looking at the ingredients, which according to the FDA must be listed from the most to the least. One of the biggest culprits is caffeine. Caffeine may be listed on the box as a main ingredient or it may be concealed in an ingredient such as green tea.

Most magical weight loss formulas (and especially those that are marketed as Chinese or miracle weight loss teas) contain herbs that act as diuretics. There is no such thing as a “fat burning herb” only herbs and botanicals that cause an increase in heart rate, breathing and other functions. This is not “fat burning” it is simply stress for the body that may trigger it to burn more calories.

Here is a breakdown of some of the most common herbs that are described as fat burning or weight loss miracles but that are actually diuretics.

Bochum. This herb is native to South Africa and is a powerful diuretic. Its main side effect is dehydration and the symptoms that come with it such as dizziness and fatigue

Dandelion – One of the safest diuretics, dandelion contains two diuretic chemicals, eudesmanolides and germacranolides, as well as the mineral potassium, which helps to regulate water balance

Horse Chestnut. Horse Chestnut is an old remedy for individuals with blood pressure problems and for varicose veins. It is a powerful diuretic that should never be used more than a day or two. Its main side effect is dehydration.

Kola Nut – This is a powerful diuretic that is not to be trifled with. The side effects are excessive thirst, nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, frequent urination, urges to go on an empty bladder, over stimulation, mania and insomnia.

Uva Ursi. Uva Ursi is traditionally used to treat bladder infections by increasing urine output. Side effects include frequent urination, urges to go and dehydration.

The weight loss herb Hoodia is also classified as a diuretic. Drinking half your body weight in ounces a day of water will aid your metabolism in breaking down fat cells and flushing out toxins.

If you must take a diuretic, beware of carbonated sodas and caffeinated beverages; they may cause stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhea or cause further dehydration while taking these kinds of weight loss supplement formulas.

 

Dating Journal
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