The Jealous Ex

January 18, 2008

Boys before you decide to ask anyone out on a date can you please get rid of your jealous ex? I just had the worst experience with a man who seemed to have a stalker on his tail.

Okay first of all he lied to me. He told me he was single when in fact he was still living at home with his ex girlfriend. How did I find this out? She ran after me with a kitchen knife and threw shoes at me is how.

This is how it went down. I met this guy John at a party and he said he was a lawyer and he was single. He also told me a bit about her but I had no idea they were still living together. After meeting John for coffee a few days later we decided we would go tout to see a play that my friend was in and then take it from there.

We went to the play and then out to dinner and then I drove him home. He lives in this nice stately old house in the Art Deco part of town. We go up to his front door and he tries the key. The door opens and then it shuts right in his place. Someone inside relocks the door and won’t let him in.

Before I can ask him what I sgoing on I see this face in the window and hear a voice screaming “Get off my step and away from my man you fucking bitch.” This apparently is his ex.

WE go back to my car and get in. He tells me that she is his ex and that she has nowhere to go so she is living in the downstairs aprt of his home and he is living in the upstairs and that it is still cool for me to come. Idiot that I am I decide to give this another try.,

He knocks on the door , she opens it and she has a knife in her hand. I of course see this and high tail it down the street. This is when she starts taking off her shoes. He gets into my car and hides. The next half hour is spent watching her pound the crap out of my car as if she was an ape testing a suitcase. Of course the whole time she is screaming at him while I watch from the bushes.

Finally the police come and Little Miss Frothing at the Mouth is taken away. Needless to say I just could not have a relationship with a guy under these circumstances. He sent me email after email begging fro me to understand that he really was single but quite frankly I like myself and would rather not be stabbed to death by a kitchen knife or have my eye put out by a woman hauling shoes in my direction. Until he gets rid of that jealous stalker, there will be no bookie from me?

 

Dating Journal
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Getting Him To Call You

January 12, 2008

One of the secrets to being a successful at dating is not to get as many numbers as you can but instead to give out your number as much as possible. You don’t want to sit at home calling men all day. Let them call you!

Getting the man to call you is one of the most effective things that you can do to keep him hooked on you. This is because the person who is called has more personal power in a relationship than the person who is doing the calling. Let hemi chase you and not the other way around.

In order to accomplish this you first need to get rid of the delusion that you are somehow not in control if you do not have the man’s number.

So what if he calls you and you happen to change your mind or not be interested. Simply either ignore the call or tell him gently that you are no longer interested.

Here are five tips for getting a man’s number and responding to her call.

1. Make up a calling card.

A calling card is a little different than a business card. A business card just has your name and phone number on it. Make sure it is elegant and don’t let amen that you like leaving your company without making sure he has one and puts it in her first.

2. Approach men you like fast!

Be swift, charming and don’t give her the chance to opt out of the conversation. Be confident and lead the conversation by asking questions about him. Don’t talk about your self and while you are talking get out your calling card and make sure it ends up in her hand, pocket or purse.

3. Be unavailable.

When he does call do not return the call immediately. Let her wait two or three days.

This creates a sense of anticipation and she may be thinking that you have options with other men. This plays with her natural hard-wired instinct to be jealous.

4. Pet him on the head for calling.

If she does call and you like him make sure she knows how impressed you are that she has taken the initiative. Sound really happy to hear from her as if it is a pleasant surprise and you have been waiting until you have a moment to talk to her.

This will make her feel like he is in control of the relationship and more confident about going to bed with you when the time comes.

One of the new problems as a successful Lilith is time management, be careful what you wish for. It’s important to plan ahead for success by using techniques like ‘giving out your number’ and ‘having dates at your place’. You need to train yourself now, and get used to it, before you acquire any more bad habits such as forgetting to do the laundry in case a man comes over.

You will also need to prioritize your phone calls and set up an answering machine because you may get more phone calls then you can possibly handle! This has happened to me many times and turned my life into love life into something that practically requires project management.

 

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Getting Over Fear of Dating

January 3, 2008

Some women really fear dating. This is easy to get over. First of stop defining yourself by men who don’t matter to you anymore unless it has been constructive criticism from licensed therapists

You’ve got to be aware of your internal dialogue; you know that little voice in your head that speaks all the time? It’s probably happening right now. As you’re reading this, you have other things going on in your head. It could be related to dating or something totally different.

Your inner critic is controlling most of your interactions. Let’s be clear…YOU are not. That inner voice is flowing all the time and it’s going to throw negative thoughts at you; it’s going to try to derail you and remind you about all of the reasons that you won’t be successful with men. It is the eternal battle of the subconscious mind against the rational mind. The most civilized of beings know how to quell these self-critical thoughts.

The first step is realizing that it exists and getting control of it. Refuse to let it control your success with men. It is simply time to forget what other people think if you want to get ahead on the dating scene.

Based on your past failures, your inner voice could be telling you anyone of the following things:

This kind of thing never happens to you —

· Men don’t respond to you

· You’re not funny

· You’re not confident

· You’re not good looking

· You don’t have anything to offer

You are too fat

You are a dumb blonde/wear glasses

You are too thin

· You’re not interesting

· You’re not dressed cool enough

· Your hair looks bad

· You’re going to run out of things to say

He will be more attracted to your friends than you

It’s telling you every reason why you won’t be successful. It’s also warning you about the possible negative outcomes such embarrassment and rejecting:

When you get nervous, you fall back on behavior that feels comfortable to you. Your defense mechanism kicks in and you start manifesting the wrong events.

You are spending a lot of energy on behavior that isn’t getting you what you want that you have none left for later when you have an actual opportunity.

Your father, your best friend who had an unrequited crush from you and your ex all have a secret agenda to hurt your feelings as they all are motivated by a desire to prevent other women from spending time in your company. If you are defining yourself by negative criticism from a man who is out of our life it is time to let it go.

 

Dating Journal
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How Men Make You Desperate For Their Attention

January 1, 2008

Ever wonder how some men seem to make us so desperate for their attention?

Here are some tips and tricks that I stole out of a man’s book on dating for taking advantage of the fact that women are hard-wired —

1. Never ask for her phone number.

Never beg for her phone number. That is one of the principles of being powerful. Make her phone you by giving you hers. Act like you just don’t care. This also makes it seem like you are already busy dating other women.

2. Never return her phone call immediately.

Wait at least three days before you return any calls. Wait until you think she is just about to give up on you and then phone. This drives her crazy with curiosity when it comes to wondering what you could possibly be doing that is more interesting than being with her.

3. Surround yourself with as many women as possible.

When you are in a social situation try to be around as many women as possible. If you are in a bar or at a party it is crucial for you to talk to as many women as possible so other women notice.

Date gurus call this multiplying women.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to go up to a group of women and engage them all in a conversation at once. Even saying something as simple as “So what are you girls up to tonight?” can start a group conversation.

Just make sure that when the girl you are really interested in is looking your way that you are always talking to another woman.

4. Be Prince Charming.

If you have a good friend who is a woman make sure you are attentive to her as if she was your girlfriend. Take her coat for her and put your hand on the small of her back. This will make the other women wish that you were available and when they discover that you actually are they will be delighted.

5. Make her aware of the competition.

If you do end up talking to a woman at the bar it is not a bad idea to give her a little sense of healthy competition. Consider flashing your wallet and make sure there is a big picture of another woman inside.

She may be so curious she may ask who she is. If she does try to look mysterious, pained or tragic. Tell her you will tell her all about it some day and that you just can’t talk about it right now. Even better imply that talking about it might steal away the precious minutes you could be spending talking to you.

Some of these dating gurus are really outrageous. He say “If you practice these tips and techniques you will be cleverly using a woman’s hard-wired instincts, which she thinks she is using to her advantage to your own!” No wonder we are so taken advantage of.

 

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