The Dating Anti Profile

August 1, 2007

Have you ever had a bad experience dating online? If you have been abused and you are a woman then you do have some recourse. You can post what is known as an anti-profile on the sites DontDateHimGirl.com and Womansavers.com. Both of these sites are like America’s Most Wanted but for bad men.

Some of these profiles are pretty amusing. You see the guy, usually in a really cute pose in a pic that was taken by the writer of the profile when she was really in love with him. Then you see a big rant written about him below. The one I read on Don’tDateHimGirl.com today says (this is paraphrased down from three solid paragraphs) “he will take your money, make promises he will never keep, will cry and tell you he is your soul mate and then take complete advantage of you when your defenses are down. He will charm you, woo you and make you believe that he cares only to rip it all away from you the minute you turn your back.”

What is even more amazing is that once a guy’s profile gets on a site like Don’tDateHimGirl he can also end up the subject of a myspace group. That is what happened to this guy here because he apparently slept with several different women in different states. The name of the Myspace site devoted to him is “User and Abuser.” On this one the women have revealed their yahoo style chats, videos he has sent them and the whole caboodle of betrayal. Currently he is thought to be wooing over fifty females.

Womansavers.com works much the same way. There are tons of reports written by women who have been dating online. On here you will find all kinds of photos and handles of men who are not that great to date. When I looked today the most recent posting was about a mentally and physically abusive jailbird who cons money out of women by marrying them.

However looking at these sites it makes me wonder how much of this is real and how much of it is written out of revenge. What kind of woman dates a jailbird in the first place?

However I can’t help but think that all of this is a big improvement over a few years ago when women really didn’t know what they were into when they met men.

I also wonder how many of these profiles are real. What’s to prevent the site owners from taking pictures of people who are deceased, posting them and then writing wild stories about how abusive the men are?

I wonder if one day anyone will ever crate a site that has men rate bad girlfriends. Like a golddiggers.com. Or a list of women who love ‘em and leave ‘em. This is probably not that likely as men just don’t seem to take it as hard when they are abused by woman. Either that or they just never admit when they are hurt like we do.

 

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Mr. I Forgot My Pin Number

July 23, 2007

Sorry I haven’t been writing for a couple of days but I decided to just soak up some rays on the beach and relax. However while at one of the hotels in Miami I met this really handsome actor/ waiter. I kept going for Monitors to the same bar again and again hoping to be asked out on a date.

Finally it happens. He calls and he talks to me on the phone. He gives great phone! I am charmed. He shows up at my door. He looks gorgeous, clean and I like the expensive car I see pulled up in the driveway.

He takes to me to the Hard Rock Café in Miami and both of us have a ball listening to the music and people watching both the tourists and famous people alike. He told me this was one of his favorite places, as he loves studying human behavior (like most actors do

I really was optimistic as we did spend a lot of time making googly eyes at each other and our hands and legs would lightly touch each other now and then. We had a bottle of expensive wine, raw oysters, a great pasta with rose sauce and then after all that was done we split a giant fudge sundae. Everything was going great and I loved the way he seemed to be prolonging the date by ordering a succession of after dinner liquors to go with his coffee.

After our last Grand Marnier and gazing into each other’s lovesick eyes, the bill for all of this came. He put a debit card in the tray and the waiter looked at him wryly and said, “I’m sorry we only take credit cards here.” He then looked very startled and blurted out “I’m sorry! I don’t have a credit card and I only brought cash with me!”

He then emptied his pockets of everything and came up with what I could see was about three five-dollar bills and a b it of coin. This was not going to cover our seventy-dollar plus restaurant bill.

After witnessing this our waiter then suggested that he go to the bank machine which was located conveniently just outside the restaurant lobby. However he just kept looking at me and saying “I don’t have any cash on me.” Like he expected me to pay the bill.

Finally I asked him – “Why don’t you just go to the bank machine?” and he gave me puppy dog pleading type eyes and simply stated, “I forgot my PIN number. My wallet was stolen and they gave me a new one and I forgot the number that they had issued me.”

After I paid the bill we went out on the street and he asked if I would like to go for more drinks. I just had to say forget it because I really don’t think the woman should be paying for anything especially if he asks her out on a date. Needless to say his number is no longer on my speed dial!

 

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Uh OH! I Slept With The Boss

June 12, 2007

I’ve been waiting for my boss to ask me out for a date. Finally it happened. He asked me if I wanted to have dinner and he said yes.

It was a warm, fragrant smelling evening last week. He took me out to a great Cajun New Orleans style restaurant, and after enjoying spicy sausage, designer martins and crème caramel we took a walk on the boardwalk. He then kissed me and asked asked me if I wanted to go to his condo for a glass of wine. Of course I agreed, and soon we ended up having sex.

The next day I woke up to a breakfast in bed (cooked by him) and a rose on my pillow. That day we went to the art gallery, shopped for a new kitchen table for his place and shared a sexy bubble bath together.

On Sunday, I asked him “should I leave?”, but he insisted I stay. He leant me his sweatshirt and we played Frisbee in the park, and then around five o clock, curled up and watched cartoons together.

Kind of sound like I had it made doesn’t it? You would think that we are now a couple right? The trouble is, that after all that, the next day we went to work and ever since he has pretended that nothing has happened. In fact I haven’t even gotten a phone call or a note telling me what’s going on. He avoids my eyes and treats me in a cold official manner. It’s like he’s never watched The Simpsons with me in his life.

All I’ve gotten is a memo asking me to please not file notes and materials in the wrong filing cabinet and an email about a new recycling program. I feel like such a fool. I would have been better off without the intimacy, than missing it like I do now. It pains me terribly to think he was just pretending to be in a relationship for those three wonderful days.

So after hearing nothing I did something I have never done before in my life and that is hire a psychic. I talked to this psychic called Samantha Stevens on Kasamba, which is a cheaper psychic chat. Like Samantha Stevens is her real name. Anyhow she was quite good. I chose her because she is in her wisdom years has written a ton of a books including one called Creating Love.

Anyhow the upshot seems to be that I fell for one of the oldest self-delusions in the world which is, according to Samantha Stevens, to assume that you are a couple if you sleep together. Apparently sleeping with a guy is next to meaningless and many guys see it as being just as important as going to the toilet.

Yet another depressing thing she told me …guys lose interest after they sleep with you. She was quoting some study.

Unfortunately I can’t express resentment because I am at my job. I don’t think I will ever sleep with the boss again. I hate dreading going to work.

 

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Oh No, He Doesn’t Do No!

May 25, 2007

Okay I am still stewing because I am not being left alone by a guy even though we only had one first date about a month ago. It turns out that he was a guy that “doesn’t do no.” You know what I am talking about – the guy whose Daddy told him never to take NO for answer or he is an inferior male or the Guy who spent hours studying the Secret (boy that book sucks) and now thinks that when people say no to him that it is somehow the failure of soul.

I went out on just one little old date with this one guy and it you would think that I have ruined his entire life or something. It was only one single dinner, (if that is what you call Pizza Palace) and afterwards I emailed him and said I just wasn’t interested and thanks I had a nice time. I handled it this way to be polite as a mutual friend set us up and I was trying to nip in the bud before I had a drama on my hands.

Of course the minute Mr. Never Say No got my email he got affronted and shot back an email asking me why. Never one to mince words I sent him back a more detailed accounting of my reasons including the phrase “I am not attracted and I don’t think we are compatible.” I only did this to be honest as we met through a matchmaking friend and I really think it was a fair to say we didn’t click. Isn’t rejection part of dating sometimes?

Well he has been acting the obsessed clown in that Seinfeld episode where Elaine gets stalked ever since. He keeps emailing me and phoning and leaving messages about knowing why and where he went wrong. He’s talking like we have been married for fifty years and like I suddenly decided to blindside him with a divorce.

Well, it has been over a months and the mutual is still approaching me and saying things like, “Do know what you did to Sean? He is really hurt.” I really don’t understand. I am also starting to feel a lot like a product that was sold to someone and then didn’t live up to its guarantee of having sex with him or something.

The really ironic thing is that he is also accusing me, of all things – LYING to him. It’s not like I told him I loved him on the first date or anything. If anything he is lying to himself by making so much of so little.

Isn’t the first thing you kind of learn in kindergarten that when someone says, “No, I don’t want to play with you.” – that you respect it. You don’t make the person play with you! However that is exactly what these two are doing – trying to make me play when I don’t want to! EW!

I am really wondering when all of this is finally going to end. I guess that

some people just can’t take no for an answer.

 

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