Remember You Are The Prize

September 16, 2009

When you are dating it is women that do not think much of themselves in the first place who lose. You need to believe that you already have a greater level of success before you even leave the house for a date. Unfortunately many women leave the house to go to a singles bar or try to find a date with this I am a loser mentality. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it is a turn off.

Girls tart acting like you’re invincible. In other words, you should be walking around like it’s already happening to you. Walk in like you own the place and if you’re not going to talk to men right away, then be committed to a conversation with a friend.

Men can’t stand it when you’re looking directly at a friend and talking and not scanning the room like every other guy. It makes you stand out. It builds attraction. They become jealous. It is something really Neanderthal and jealous in them that makes them want to be number one.

This means looking occupied and committed when you talk to men. Any men. This is so that by the time you interact with them they are already attracted. It is like shooting fish in a barrel. If you keep it fun short and firefly it will drive them even crazier. Before you know it men will start lining up to talk to you.

This is because you will be doing what most women can’t do because they are so desperate. Most other girls were looking around the room for targets – the single guy –when they wake in the room. All we did was have a committed conversation and have fun. No work, lots of return.

You saw how being friendly gets you everywhere and can turn any evening into an extraordinary one. Just by having this confidence and relaxed attitude, women will approach you and do all the work. If you’re friendly and ask questions you won’t have to worry about what to say next. They’ll do all the talking.

Remember, simple is better than complicated. “What’s up?” “What’s happening over here?”, “Why haven’t you called me?” or “I’m your dancer” always works better than a long, drawn out, story. It’s as if you’re not hitting on them. This causes them to lower their defenses and they don’t see you coming until they’re already attracted.

Act as if this is already your life. I can see it inside of you; it’s lying right below the surface. You deserve this life where men adore you, want you and must have you. The more that you maintain this sort of attitude which is very hard for women to do as we are taught from birth to be demure and to hang our heads and be shame based the more he is going to see you as exceptional and as a trophy that must be won.

Remember, you’re the prize!

 

Dating Journal
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The Jealous Ex

January 18, 2008

Boys before you decide to ask anyone out on a date can you please get rid of your jealous ex? I just had the worst experience with a man who seemed to have a stalker on his tail.

Okay first of all he lied to me. He told me he was single when in fact he was still living at home with his ex girlfriend. How did I find this out? She ran after me with a kitchen knife and threw shoes at me is how.

This is how it went down. I met this guy John at a party and he said he was a lawyer and he was single. He also told me a bit about her but I had no idea they were still living together. After meeting John for coffee a few days later we decided we would go tout to see a play that my friend was in and then take it from there.

We went to the play and then out to dinner and then I drove him home. He lives in this nice stately old house in the Art Deco part of town. We go up to his front door and he tries the key. The door opens and then it shuts right in his place. Someone inside relocks the door and won’t let him in.

Before I can ask him what I sgoing on I see this face in the window and hear a voice screaming “Get off my step and away from my man you fucking bitch.” This apparently is his ex.

WE go back to my car and get in. He tells me that she is his ex and that she has nowhere to go so she is living in the downstairs aprt of his home and he is living in the upstairs and that it is still cool for me to come. Idiot that I am I decide to give this another try.,

He knocks on the door , she opens it and she has a knife in her hand. I of course see this and high tail it down the street. This is when she starts taking off her shoes. He gets into my car and hides. The next half hour is spent watching her pound the crap out of my car as if she was an ape testing a suitcase. Of course the whole time she is screaming at him while I watch from the bushes.

Finally the police come and Little Miss Frothing at the Mouth is taken away. Needless to say I just could not have a relationship with a guy under these circumstances. He sent me email after email begging fro me to understand that he really was single but quite frankly I like myself and would rather not be stabbed to death by a kitchen knife or have my eye put out by a woman hauling shoes in my direction. Until he gets rid of that jealous stalker, there will be no bookie from me?

 

Dating Journal
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Getting Him To Call You

January 12, 2008

One of the secrets to being a successful at dating is not to get as many numbers as you can but instead to give out your number as much as possible. You don’t want to sit at home calling men all day. Let them call you!

Getting the man to call you is one of the most effective things that you can do to keep him hooked on you. This is because the person who is called has more personal power in a relationship than the person who is doing the calling. Let hemi chase you and not the other way around.

In order to accomplish this you first need to get rid of the delusion that you are somehow not in control if you do not have the man’s number.

So what if he calls you and you happen to change your mind or not be interested. Simply either ignore the call or tell him gently that you are no longer interested.

Here are five tips for getting a man’s number and responding to her call.

1. Make up a calling card.

A calling card is a little different than a business card. A business card just has your name and phone number on it. Make sure it is elegant and don’t let amen that you like leaving your company without making sure he has one and puts it in her first.

2. Approach men you like fast!

Be swift, charming and don’t give her the chance to opt out of the conversation. Be confident and lead the conversation by asking questions about him. Don’t talk about your self and while you are talking get out your calling card and make sure it ends up in her hand, pocket or purse.

3. Be unavailable.

When he does call do not return the call immediately. Let her wait two or three days.

This creates a sense of anticipation and she may be thinking that you have options with other men. This plays with her natural hard-wired instinct to be jealous.

4. Pet him on the head for calling.

If she does call and you like him make sure she knows how impressed you are that she has taken the initiative. Sound really happy to hear from her as if it is a pleasant surprise and you have been waiting until you have a moment to talk to her.

This will make her feel like he is in control of the relationship and more confident about going to bed with you when the time comes.

One of the new problems as a successful Lilith is time management, be careful what you wish for. It’s important to plan ahead for success by using techniques like ‘giving out your number’ and ‘having dates at your place’. You need to train yourself now, and get used to it, before you acquire any more bad habits such as forgetting to do the laundry in case a man comes over.

You will also need to prioritize your phone calls and set up an answering machine because you may get more phone calls then you can possibly handle! This has happened to me many times and turned my life into love life into something that practically requires project management.

 

Dating Journal
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Lying to Yourself About Infidelity

December 3, 2007

I was thinking again today about the biggest lies that people tell themselves so that it is okay to cheat. This is coming to mind because one of my good friends who just got married three months ago is already dealing with a cheating spouse.

I guess that most people who cheat think they can stop after just cheating once. The problem is that cheating is like eating potato chips. It is hard to stop at just one experience. Still most people don’t realize that the endorphins raised at the prospect of illicit sex are similar to the ones produced in the brain that are like heroin.

Some people think it is okay to cheat if they are nicer to the person they are betraying at home. They will buy them jewelry and all kinds of things. In fact that is how my friend found out her new husband was cheating. He kept buying her all kinds of stuff including jewels and that kitchen appliance she always wanted. He wasn’t that doting before they got married so she go suspicious.

Some people apparently are quite nihilistic about fidelity in general. They figure everybody cheats and that it is only a matter of time before their partner cheats on them so they do it first.

Some people are also not accountable for their actions and simply think that they are not making a choice when they are cheating. To them it is not a decision. Instead they figure that fate did it.

Another thing that cheaters tell themselves is that nobody will be angry with them because everyone has a little moment of human weakness. They diminish the moral responsibility to their partner by thinking in their minds that everybody does it.

An older cheater may use the excuse of a mid life crisis. Some people feel that they need to sow more wild oats. Usually this really means they are bored with their current relationship.

Cheating makes some people feel dangerous or sexy. It makes them feel like they are a big celebrity like Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn It makes them feel glamorous and in control. Of course they are really out of control and hurting others instead.

A lot of people think that they can keep an affair a secret. Half of the time it backfires as emotional tensions build and one partner or the other confesses to someone who is not supposed to know. Thinking it is okay because it will be kept a secret is always a big mistake. Spouses almost always have a way of just knowing. My friend had a hunch for ages that her husband was cheating. She even suspected with whom. Even though she had no proof of the situation until recently everyone thought she was jealous and crazy!

 

Dating Journal
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